The Dance of Following Your Dreams

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world." ~Marianne Williamson
 
In the past 24 hours, I've heard from two different friends who were both dealing with the same issue. They're both very creative, talented people with big dreams, but are currently experiencing crippling self-doubt. I think this is a very wide-spread problem that everyone experiences to some degree, whether they are aware of it or not. The fact is, we are all very creative, talented people, in our own unique ways, but we've allowed "that voice" in our heads to convince us otherwise. "That voice" is our ego. It is a built-in protective device that is part of the human package, but it takes it's function way too far. It is the part of us that wants to wall us away from everyone else so we can never be hurt, but keeps us instead alone and isolated. When it comes to creativity it is our worst critic, constantly judging, constantly comparing our work to others, and whispering "You'll never be as good, so why try?"

But here's what we must realize: when you arrived in this physical world your soul was encoded with a divine plan, your purpose for this lifetime. You were given dreams, which are visions of your destiny. You were also given special abilities and talents to help you accomplish this heavenly mission on earth.  This is what makes you, YOU. Who are we to question this divine plan and these gifts? In allowing our ego to make us doubt ourselves and turn away from our destiny, we are completely going against the laws of the Universe. Our higher purpose is one of the things that gives deeper meaning to our lives. But many of us allow these dreams and visions, and even our unique gifts and talents to slip away as we lose faith in ourselves, and "real life" demands our attention and energy. This leaves us feeling lost and empty, wondering "Is this all there is to life?" 

If this has happened to you, it's important to recover those gifts and talents, and to grow and nurture them. Rediscover your dreams, and keep them alive in your heart, trusting that the Universe is programmed to automatically support you in achieving them. Keep in mind that while not everybody reaches "the top," the journey is the real destination. It's not for you to determine how "big" of a success you will be, that's Spirit's job. Your job is to "follow your bliss," whatever that may be. Let go of the self-judgment of your talents and your success level. Thank your ego for it's opinion, and then tell it to sit down and shut up! Let your intuition guide you. It's the voice of your soul, eternal and infinitely wise, it knows the way. Take a baby step, and see how it feels. If it feels good, take another one. Listen. Trust. If you reach a point where you feel guided to make a leap of faith, trust that the Universe will rise up to meet you. Let Spirit be in charge of the eventual outcome, it's out of your control anyway!

It's important to have goals, but to stay open and allow divine guidance from Spirit and your higher self to come through. Don't let your ego persuade you that it knows the best way to your dreams, and don't be too attached to specific routes or results. Your ego wants you to focus on the material path, to pursue the money, but if you choose to follow Spirit's lead, you will always be provided for. Watch for the signs, and listen for the messages that are guiding you. Keep taking one step at a time even if you cannot see in the moment how it will lead you to your ultimate goal. Keep listening, keep trusting, keep following. Eventually you'll realize that you're not just "stepping" any more, you're dancing! It's the dance between enlightened human and Spirit, the dance of co-creating the life of your dreams.

Hold your dream in your heart, but always allow Spirit to lead!

The Magic of Going With the Flow

"You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however."  

Illusions by Richard Bach

It's important to have dreams. Our dreams are messages from our soul about our destiny in life. They lead us on our path, and help us to find our divine purpose. But sometimes we get so obsessed about making our dream come true, and trying to control everything, that we completely close the Divine out of the situation. It's important to remember that we are co-creating our lives with Spirit, and while we do have to show up every day and do our part in working towards our dreams, we also have to allow the Universe room to work. How do we do this? By releasing our expectations around the hows and whens of the situation. Dream the dream, then surrender the details of it to Spirit. Trust that the Universe is programmed to automatically assist and support you in your divine purpose on Earth.

I have a dear friend who felt very led and guided to open her own business, even though times are tough and the economy is not thriving. She has been busting her butt to get this business going, and while clients are beginning to trickle in, the numbers are not yet what she needs to help support her young family. Of course this is causing her incredible stress and heartache, worrying constantly about being able to meet their bills, while she watches her husband work double shifts trying to make ends meet. She is praying constantly for help, for guidance, for assistance but is not hearing anything. But instead of asking "show me how to support my family" she is praying for a specific result, "please show me how to bring in more clients, or one big client." What she doesn't realize is that by doing this she is narrowing the infinite possibilities of the Universe. She wants her dream so badly that she is insisting to the Universe that the help she needs must look a certain way. It appears to her that her prayers are going unanswered, when in all likelihood she is receiving guidance and messages every day that she is not seeing or hearing because they don't come in the form she is expecting. She is trying to dictate to Spirit how the help should appear. This is our ego at work, it thinks it knows best, even better than the Universe! It's often this way when we are very attached to specific outcomes.

The areas of our lives that are the most dear, the most precious (like our dreams) are the hardest to surrender, but they are exactly the ones where we need the most assistance! Instead of being open and allowing the Universe to guide us, we become like recalcitrant children wanting our way.  When you feel you are banging your head against a brick wall trying to make something happen, stop and look for a door! If you don't immediately see a door, ask Spirit to help you find the door, but then keep your eyes open for unexpected opportunities. The door may not be blue like you think it should be, it may be red instead. You may not be able to see in that moment how entering that red door will lead you to your dream. But if you step through in faith, chances are excellent that the end result will be as good or better than anything you imagined.

Often we try to put what the Universe is trying to give us in a "box" that looks a very specific way. I have found that if we can release that picture in our mind of how it's supposed to look, what actually occurs is 100 times bigger and better. As Oprah says "You dream a dream, but the dream the Universe dreams for you is so much BIGGER!" We have to surrender control, trust that all is unfolding for our highest good and greatest benefit, and ALLOW the Universe to work through and for us by being flexible and open to ALL possibilities. That's the magic of "going with the flow."

A Poem from my 13 year-old Self

When a man looks at a flower,

he sees a flower.

But when a child looks at a flower,

he sees a thing of beauty and color.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at a tree,

he sees only a tree.

But when a child looks at a tree,

he sees a thing of motion and life.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at another man

he sees merely another man.

But when a child looks at a man,

he sees the person deep inside,

warm and glowing.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at the sun and stars,

he sees just the sun and stars.

But when a child looks at the sun and stars,

he sees in each a guiding light,

always there day or night.

Creations of God.

When a man looks at God,

he sees very little, only a faint shape.

But when a child looks at God,

he sees a flower, a tree, a man,

the sun and stars, beauty, color, motion,

life, warmth, glow, a guiding light that is

always there, day or night,

and most of all

Love.

This is God.

God is His creations,

His creations are God.

The Girl's Guide to The Universe

An excerpt from my upcoming gift-book for girls.

You are a beautiful being, unlike any other.

In all the history of the world, there has never been and never will be anyone exactly like you. This makes you very special! No matter what you may think, like a snowflake you are beautiful in your own unique way. Everyone has their own beauty. It may not be traditional beauty, but it is your beauty.

Learn to celebrate and treasure the ways that you are different. These are the things that make you YOU. Do not compare yourself to others, especially not to the glossy magazine covers with air-brushed pictures of models or actresses. These are completely unrealistic representations of "beauty." Comparing yourself to others in any way is pointless and only brings unhappiness. Keep in mind that the definition of what is "beautiful" and "desirable" is subjective and varies greatly from country to country, village to village, and even person to person. "Beauty" truly is in the eye of the beholder. All that really matters is what you think, what you believe about yourself. The people who matter will see your soul, and treasure you for the unique, special being that you are! Life is not a beauty competition. It is about being the very best version of YOU that you can be.  

 It's OK not to know.

It's OK to not know who you are and what you want yet. That's what your 20's are for. Like the transformation of a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly, you are still in the process of becoming who you will be. You are learning to transition to the "real world," away from the protection of your parents, learning to spread your wings and fly. This period of your life is a time to learn balance, self-discipline, and how to take care of yourself in every way. It is a time of discovering who you really are and finding out what you really believe.

During these years, you are like a piece of artwork still being "created," and you are the creator. This time is for experimenting with life, deciding what works for you and why, and what doesn't. Many lessons will be learned, including some painful ones. Do not beat yourself up about making mistakes, that's what this time is for. The important part is to learn! No experience is wasted, if something is learned in the process.

Live, love, learn! This is the purpose of life.

                                  

                                   

You are not alone.

Everyone goes through difficult times while growing up. If you have gone through painful experiences, know that you are not alone. Everyone has insecurities, some are just better at covering them up than others. Often the ones who seem the most confident, the most "well-adjusted" are actually the ones who are just the best at acting as if all is well. Science has shown that the teenage brain is still forming and at the same time is overloaded with the effects of hormonal changes. You are going through a period where you are literally not yet in your right mind! This means that everyone your age is going through exactly the same process, whether they show it or not.

If you are worried about the future, fearful about whether you can make it in the "real world," understand that this is completely normal. Going out on your own is like being at the top of the worlds' largest roller coaster, it's absolutely thrilling and completely terrifying at the same time!

Know that this time of life will pass, and you will be fine.

                                                               

Life is a classroom.

There is no instruction manual for life. We are meant to learn through trial and error. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone experiences difficult times. What counts is not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up! Challenging times and experiences are what enable us to grow. They shape us, and make us stronger. Author Richard Bach writes "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands." When faced with a challenge, remember to always look for the gift.

Your life is a tapestry that you are weaving, made up of the decisions and choices that you make, as well as the consequences of those decisions and choices. Do not allow challenges or even failures to define who you are, or what your future will be. You don't know how strong you can be, until you have no other choice. There will be times when the world does not seem fair, but you can rise above the difficulties. By surviving the challenges, you will become smarter and stronger, more ready and able to do great things!

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Taking Back Your Power!

"What happens to us externally does not determine our internal condition. It is what we tell ourselves about what is happening externally that determines our internal condition."

I find this quote to be extremely profound. In essence it is saying that it is not what's going on around us that causes us emotional stress and pain, but our own internal dialogue about what is happening. This also means that no one can hurt your feelings, without your permission! If the actions of another cause you pain, you are allowing it to happen, by "buying into it." Sound crazy? Let me explain.

The reason the words and actions of others have power over us and the ability to hurt us is that they touch a nerve deep inside us. This nerve is connected to an old wound that still needs to be healed. This wound usually occurred during childhood, when someone close to us did something to us, or said something and in that moment we decided it was our fault. We took on the guilt and made an assumption or decision about ourselves, most likely some version of "I'm not good enough", "I'm not worthy of love", or "I'm not perfect, therefore I am not lovable" (thanks to my dear perfectionist mother, this is my personal recurring one.) Once this decision about our own value and worth is made, we live the rest of our lives with this underlying, negative, severely-limiting, completely false self-belief. We move through life viewing all of our experiences through this filter, with our ego actually looking for "proof" to support these negative self-beliefs, and using it against us to keep us isolated and alone. It's only through learning self-love and acceptance that we can change that old belief structure, reprogramming our thoughts and redefining the "filter" that we experience life through.

In reality, the actions taken by another person are 99.9% about them, their mindset, their fears, their "stories" in their heads. But we are egocentric beings, and so we tend to take things personally even when they aren't about us. What happens is that in that moment when something is said to us, or done to us that touches that nerve, our ego sneaks in and uses it against us. It starts whispering what I call "scary stories" such as "See? I told you, you're not good enough!" Or "See? You're not lovable/worthy of love."  It is actually this internal dialogue that is causing the emotional distress and pain, not the actions or words of the other person! Whatever the person has said or done, it has touched an old wound in you, causing the ego to rear it's ugly head.

Here's an example: Perhaps you have a boss who rules through fear and intimidation. She is constantly finding fault with everything that you do. You know intellectually that you are very good at what you do, but her repetitive nit-picking makes you feel like an inadequate and incompetent five year old. This causes you to be upset and feel badly because her criticism is activating an old negative self-belief of being "not good enough" and the ego is seizing on this opportunity to push you into fear. Quite simply, her words are causing you pain because on some deep level you believe them! She is reinforcing something deep in you, a negative self-belief that you have "bought into", and this is where the disconnect from love is occurring. This moment, when you begin to feel this emotional pain is actually a red-flag that LOVE is needed! This is the moment to change your internal dialogue. Instead of telling yourself "See? I knew it, I'm not good enough!" and making yourself miserable,  this is the moment to step in and say "It's OK, because I KNOW I'm good enough! I am a being of beautiful light and love! I may not be perfect, but that's OK, I'm awesome just the way I am! And I LOVE ME!" This will enable you to return to a sane place, and to view the situation rationally. By removing that knee-jerk emotional response you are able to see that likely it is her own issues that are being projected onto you, and you can choose to not let it affect you.

I think every human being on the planet has ingrained in us some degree of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not lovable", which gives the ego a weapon to use against us. I think the only solution is to change our inner dialogue with ourselves and pour love on it, to DROWN it in love!! If you truly love and accept yourself, flaws and all, and believe in your basic "goodness", then no one can hurt you emotionally, because you will be able to see that whatever is going on, it's not about you! By changing what you are saying to yourself, about yourself in those difficult moments, you will be changing what you are feeling, shifting from fear to love, pain to peace. Through self-love you are taking responsibility for, and control over your own feelings.

I know this concept may be hard to grasp at first, but it is so powerful. Once you learn to see and love your own divine goodness, and release those old notions of guilt and unworthiness, you gain the ability to stand strong in yourself and to not take on the negativity being projected by the words and actions of others. By rejecting fear and choosing love, you are taking back your power!

Love and light to all.

Learning to Trust and Let Go!

Looking back to last January when I decided to moved to Hawaii without a job and only a small amount of savings, I am starting to see what a leap of faith it was! I had been feeling very guided to make the move, for over a year and a half. There had been many signs that it was the right thing for me to do, most of all the fact that every time I visited here and then returned to Los Angeles, as the plane took off to leave I would begin to weep. My soul was trying to tell me that this was where I belonged. Thankfully, I decided to overcome my fears and listen. It was the best decision I ever made! 

I didn't realize it at the time, but in making that leap I was basically surrendering my life to Spirit, essentially saying "I don't know how this is all going to turn out, but I trust that YOU do!" As a result, the last 15 months have been exhilarating, fantastic, and absolutely terrifying by turns. But as a result, my emotional and spiritual growth has accelerated at an unbelievable rate. By getting out of my comfort zone, and releasing control over almost everything, just "going with the flow", I have grown in ways that I could never have foreseen. I feel so supported, loved and guided on this journey, as if I am finally stepping into my own power, and becoming the very best version of myself possible. My life here has turned out differently than I expected while planning my move, it is so much BIGGER and BETTER than I could possibly have imagined!

I am learning to let go of needing to see all the way to the "end" of where I am going on this journey. I am listening and allowing Spirit, through my intuition, to guide me one step at a time, releasing the "hows", trusting it will all work out alright. It can be very scary to not be in control (especially for a recovering control-freak!) but I am learning to release the fear. I don't need to know everything. I know what I need to know, that by taking one baby step at a time I am following Spirit's plan, allowing it to lead me in the cosmic dance of life, and all is well.

I have set my intentions for my ultimate destination, now I can release and trust my inner GPS, my intuition to lead me there. By allowing my soul to speak and to guide me, I am set on a path that the Universe is constructed to automatically support in every way! My job is to just show up, every day and give it my best, and then stand back and let the Universe do the rest. Since I have learned to trust in my higher self and let go, amazing things have been happening, way beyond anything I could have imagined or planned! I truly feel as though I am "co-creating my life" with Spirit.

So fellow adventurer, I say to you; set your intention, trust and follow your inner guide, allow the Universe room to work by surrendering control of all the details, and watch the miracles unfold!

When I Grow Up I Want to be a Mermaid!

I believe we all arrive on the earthly plane with a divine purpose. A few people seem to know from a young age what they are meant to do, and never waver from this course. However, most of us wander, searching into our 20's, 30's and even beyond, for our destiny in this lifetime. Looking back now, I can see that there were clues all along to who and what I would become, I just didn't recognize them at the time.

When I was 9 years old, my family visited the brand-new Disneyland in California. What a wonder of wonders! A truly magical place where fairy tales and my already-active imagination came to life. The highlight of this visit for me was "10,000 Leagues Under the Sea", a submarine ride through a large lagoon, with real-life mermaids swimming by the windows! From the monorail you could look down on these mythical creatures as they lay on the rocks, combing their hair, playing a harp or giggling with their friends while they waved at park-goers. That was it for me! From that day forward when asked "And what do you want to be when you grow up?" my answer was always "A mermaid!" I don't think the adults in my life took me very seriously, but to their credit they never disabused me of the idea, allowing me to continue to dream.

One of my favorite activities growing up was "playing store." I'd print "Sale!" signs in red block letters and tape them on my bedroom windows facing the street. I spent countless happy hours industriously putting price tags on everything I owned, carefully arranging and "merchandising" my toys and stuffed animals. I invited all my little friends to come over to "shop" and I would ring up their purchases on my shoe box "cash register."

The other thing I truly loved as a child was reading. My parents both enjoyed reading, and at a young age I can remember my father telling me "Books are our friends!" so I would treasure and take care of mine. (As I am writing this, there is a storage unit in California filled with boxes of books, waiting for me to come and get them!) My mom would often find me hiding under tablecloths, in closets, and under the covers with a flashlight, lost in some foreign land, living vicariously through the characters in my books. I think my love of books led me to want to write, to share my own stories with the world. In school I was introduced to one of my heroes, Henry David Thoreau. I learned to write poems, and channeled my love of nature and my child's view of spirituality, even having one published at the age of 12. Then I hit my hormone-fueled teenage years and wrote terrible, tormented love-poems, and tear-stained journals. Writing became both my passion and my solace.

Another of my favorite things was making up stories and plays for my friends to act out. I never wanted to be in the play, I just wanted to write the story, the lines for the actors to say, and to direct them in their roles. Somewhere I learned to say "Cut!" and "Back to one!" with great authority, rehearsing them tirelessly (well, I was tireless anyway!) until I deemed them "ready" for our big premiere for our families. (For which we charged 25 cents a head, and in true Broadway fashion, I shamelessly appropriated most of the profits!)

Looking back on all of this I can see that the clues to my life-path were there, my passions clearly defined all along. It's no surprise that for the first 20 years of my working life I managed retail stores, and loved being a "shop keeper." Then I fell into my current career in television and feature film production, loving the collaborative art of helping to bring "stories" to life. My poetry has given way to screenwriting, (who knows, maybe I'll direct some day?) blogging, and now a book series about my spiritual journey. And best of all, I now live in beautiful Hawaii, where I get to swim and play in turquoise waters at every opportunity. My mermaid dreams have finally come true! I know now that for most of my life I have instinctively followed my bliss, without really thinking about it. That is why I have always looked forward to going to work each day. What a blessing, and something that many people never find while working just a "job" that merely brings them money, but no joy! When you do what you love, you love what you do!

I believe that we are all born with our own unique talents, things we are meant to share with the world that make it a better place, gifts that only we can give. Your heart knows your destiny, it has always known, and your intuition is programmed to help you find your way. I think small clues to our destiny can be found in our early passions and interests. If you are still seeking your bliss, I encourage you to look back to the dreams of your childhood. Who knows, maybe you were meant to be a mermaid too? Or a pirate? Or elephant tamer, pilot, clown, or.....? Life is short, let your imagination run wild!

"Faith, trust, and pixie dust!"