Giving Up the Role of "Thought Police"

The time period we are living through right now is unprecedented.  A global pandemic, national health emergencies, self isolation, and more recently, civil unrest and disagreement on how to move forward. Sadly, instead of being united by sharing these common challenges, it seems that right now my country is more divided than it has been in over a hundred years.

These events combined with this time of forced stillness has been for me the perfect opportunity to go within, and to learn and grow. I believe that our relationships are mirrors that reflect back to us our wounds, and where we need healing. I've been witnessing some of my interactions with friends, neighbors, and on social media during this time and some of it hasn't been pretty. I see that my ego is on high alert, in a super-defensive, "I know best" mode. This situation has really brought my need to be "right" to the forefront, and also the need for others to see and acknowledge that I am right. My ego says that they need to think like I do about everything that is important now, and if they don't they are WRONG. And furthermore, that it's my JOB to enlighten them and make them SEE that they're wrong. I'm witnessing myself getting very upset over disputes regarding "facts" and "fake news," to the point that my adrenaline is flowing and my heart is racing! Wow, what a ridiculous amount of extra stress to put on myself at this already challenging time, and completely unnecessary.

This is clearly ego-driven, and feels very rooted in left brain, traditional male-type energy. Well, as of today I'm choosing to let it go! The divine feminine is rising in the world, and in me. I am letting go of the need to convince everyone to come to my point of view. One of my dearest friends without even knowing, mirrored back to me this flawed thinking. I love her so much, she has a beautiful, playful, sunshine & love-filled soul, and yet she thinks VERY differently than I do about many things happening right now. I am realizing THAT'S OK. My ego wants to think less of her, but my heart refuses. I am realizing that my way is not the only way. My truth is not necessarily the same truth for others. We all see the world through the lens of our own unique experiences, and the ways we interpret the exact same events are as diverse as we are. I can choose to bless and release everyone to think as they choose, believe as "truth" what they believe, and I can love them anyway. I can choose to release the need to force everyone to see things the same way that I see them. Whew, what a relief! That was a lot to be carrying around, being responsible for how EVERYONE thinks. Hey ego, guess what? I AM NOT THE "THOUGHT POLICE!" Now I can see how ridiculous that is. No wonder I'm exhausted! Once again, I am reminded that acceptance and the release of expectations are the keys to my inner peace.

Elizabeth Gilbert said recently that some people will thrive during this challenging time; learn a language, lose weight, write a book, but that it's also ok to just survive. I feel like I am surviving, but also growing. And in the midst of all this uncertainty, that feels like a gift.

Calling All Angels

Aloha Light Workers,

These are dark and uncertain times, but it occurred to me in meditation this morning that these are the times WE were born for. I believe the time is now for all light beings, wherever we may be in the world, to use our roles as light-workers, light-warriors, and light-bringers to assist with the massive, global transformation that is in the process of occurring. I believe that now is finally the true dawning of the "Age of Aquarius", of peace, harmony, and understanding. It seems to me that our old way of life on planet earth is dying, and we must step forward to assist with the birth of a new heart-centered consciousness. 

Giving birth is messy, bloody and painful but if we each do what we can in our own families, circle of friends, & communities to help spread love where fear is rising, to shine the light & help keep people calm while adjusting, the world, and everyone in it will be a much better place when all this craziness passes.

I am feeling this call deep in my soul, are you? I'm not certain how to move forward, or what I can do to help from the confines of my home.  So, I'm starting with regularly holding my friends and family, my beloved islands, my country, and also the entire globe in my heart and in my daily prayers. I'm sharing positive, calming, loving posts on social media (and humorous too, as laughter is from joy, and joy is good for the soul.) And I'm writing this blog which statistics tell me is read all over the planet, in an effort to spread the message of hope, of change, of love as far and wide, to as many souls as possible.

"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."

Beaming love from my heart to yours, for we are all ONE. Stay safe, stay well.

❤ Hokulani ⭐

What if...

we subscribe to the philosophy that life is always working out for us, that there is an intelligence far greater than humans at work...

That all is interconnected. 

What if...

this corona virus is here to help us? 

To reset.
To remember.

What is truly important.

Reconnecting with family and community.

Reducing travel so that the environment, the skies, the air, our lungs all get a break.

Parts of China are seeing blue sky and clouds for the first time in forever with the factories being shut down.

Working from home rather than commuting to work (less pollution, more personal time).

Reconnecting with family as there is more time at home.

An invitation to turn inwards -- a deep meditation -- rather than the usual extroverted going out to self-soothe.

To reconnect with self -- what is really important to me?

A reset economically. 

The working poor. The lack of healthcare access for over 30 million in the US. The need for paid sick leave. 

How hard does one need to work to be able to live, to have a life outside of work?

And, washing our hands -- how did that become a "new" thing that we needed to remember. But, yes, we did. 

The presence of Grace for all. 

There is a shift underway in our society -- what if it is one that is favorable for us?

What if this virus is an ally in our evolution? 

In our remembrance of what it means to be connected, humane, living a simpler life, to be less impactful/ more kind to our environment. 

An offering from my heart this morning. Offered as another perspective. Another way of relating to this virus, this unfolding, this evolution. 

It was time for a change, we all knew that.

And, change has arrived. 

What if...

- Gutpreet Gill
AKA- Tran P. Tai

Staying Sane in a Crazy World

It's the end of week 3 of "social distancing" in the United States, due to COVID-19. Wow, how life has changed!

My inner guide loves to play DJ. I often find songs stuck in my head that when I stop to consider the lyrics reveal messages directly related to my life and what's happening in it at that very moment. Right now the chorus of a song by REM is playing over and over. "It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...." Weird right? But actually I DO feel as if it's the end of the world as we know it. I don't think we will ever go back to "normal" as it was. What we are experiencing right now, as a collective, global community is completely unprecedented. No one knows how this ends. No one knows how this crisis will affect us or our way of life, long term. To say the future is uncertain is an understatement. Not only is the distant future uncertain, but next week is completely uncertain. The human psyche HATES to deal with uncertainty. It is scary and uncomfortable. We are at a crucial turning point, as individuals and as a species. We can choose love or we can choose fear.

Personally, I have gone to my default position for whenever life gets challenging or scary. My mantra always is "I trust that all is unfolding according to a divine plan, for my greatest good and highest benefit. Whether I can see it in this moment, or not." So I am not only holding this thought for my own life, trusting that all will turn out OK, but also for the collective good, for the world. Things are bad right now. People are dying, others are losing people close and important to them. But I have to believe that good will come of it. I feel like blind faith is required now, faith in whatever gets you through life, or even just through the day. I have faith that better days are ahead. I have faith that everything always turns out alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end. We just have to keep that faith and stick together, keep putting one foot in front of the other, marking one day off the calendar at a time. Try not to "future trip" about next month, or even next week. If nothing else, this thing is teaching us to live in the present, because we have ZERO idea what tomorrow will bring. We just have to stay sane, whatever it takes to make that happen.

Here's what's working for me right now, helping to keep me sane and grounded.

1. Staying connected. Reaching out to friends and family via Zoom, FaceTime, text, email, carrier pigeon, whatever works! Check in regularly, and especially with your friends facing this alone, or those who suffer from depression or anxiety. And staying connected has all kinds of physical health benefits too, like boosting your immune system.

2. Focusing on the good. And there is a LOT of good happening right now, if you look for it. (If the news is stressing you out, feel free to tune out for a bit!) I look for stories that make me feel good, and share things on social media that make me laugh.

3. Releasing things beyond my control. So much of what is happening is way beyond my control. All I can influence is within my four walls really, so I'm choosing to let go of the rest. I cannot control the stock market or it's effect on my 401k, so I release it. I cannot control the government, the President, the Congress, my Governor, my Mayor OR their responses to this. So I choose to release my frustrations and fear. They don't serve me in this situation. When it comes time to vote, I will exercise my power at that time. Until then, it is what it is.

4. Getting outside daily. Long walks with my dog Jax, or playing with him in the yard. Just getting fresh air and sunshine makes me feel better. Nature is so healing.

5. Setting a couple of small goals each day. I'm not working right now, so accomplishing even a few small, mundane things makes me feel productive and a little more "normal."

6. Having some semblance of a schedule, especially a morning routine. Starting off the day in a "normal" way helps make me feel grounded.

7. Meditation, prayer & gratitude. And there is so much to be grateful for. In this moment, I am healthy. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I am ok. I have what I need. I trust that will continue, and I am grateful in advance.

8. Being gentle with myself. It's ok to feel scared, or sad, or depressed. There are no "wrong" feelings. However I'm feeling is appropriate to the moment. I allow myself to feel it then find a way to move back to love.

This is my "new normal." If you are riding this out alone as I am, know that you are alone only in the physical state. In spirit you are never alone. These times are tough for everyone, but I have faith that we will get through this if we do it TOGETHER.  We will make it through if we choose love, not fear. For through love all things are possible.

Praying that you and yours are all healthy and safe. Stay home and we will make it through, apart but together!

Namaste

Compassion and Presence in 2019

January 1, 2019, the first day of a brand new year full of possibilities! Rather than make resolutions only to break them in a matter of weeks, days, or (let's be honest) even hours, this year I want to focus on my state of be-ing. I want to decide how I will show up in the world because I know that is how the world will then show up for me in return. Today I'm starting the new year wearing green, the color of abundance, renewal, and regeneration. In Buddhism the Green Tara is the "goddess of compassion and the mother of liberation." She "embodies the healing energy of release from fear and ignorance." Her green color represents the "freshness and newness of energy, reflecting her youthfulness and playfulness."

All of this speaks to me as I move forward into what I feel intuitively will be an important year of change and growth. I want to stay aware of the impact of my human-rational-ego mind on my thoughts and feelings, to pay attention to the fearfulness that prevents me from having compassion, especially for those closest to me. As I allow others close it becomes more challenging to feel the one-ness because my ego constantly seeks to separate by tearing them down and making them "wrong" in every way. I want to be mindful of these blocks to love and to gently release them without judgement or criticism of myself. The ego-rational mind is a natural part of the human condition and "becoming more compassionate" for everyone includes myself! Compassion IS liberation from fearfulness, which allows us to be joyful and playful. (And let's face it, couldn't we all use a little more joy and fun in our lives?)

As with everything, it all comes back to my spiritual practice; meditation, prayer, reading, and for me, writing, which is how I process it all. Staying grounded through daily spiritual practice keeps me in awareness. Staying in gratitude keeps me in a state of joy. Staying in the present moment keeps me grounded in love. This year I seek to stay rooted in the truth that we are all ONE, and to remember that when I resist others, I resist the highest, best part of myself.

Wishing you infinite blessings, love and joy in the new year.

A New Day

I haven't been writing regularly for a while now, at least a year since I started back to work full-time. I haven't been meditating regularly either...not sure why I stopped but definitely feeling the residual effects of both. I'm out of sorts, disgruntled, disenchanted, grumpy and judgmental. Not my usual self at all, my ego has been running the show. I know that not writing makes me feel disconnected from myself, my true self, my soul. Not meditating disconnects me from Spirit, from my Source, from All That Is Love. My fears and negative self-talk have been allowed to run amok unchecked, leaving my inner child feeling frightened, alone, and unloved. I know all this intellectually, and yet still I've avoided both writing and meditating. WHY??

After not working regularly for almost 2 1/2 yrs, going back to 40+ hrs of a physically demanding job came as quite a shock to my system. Add to this the stress of learning a new position/company. I think I've just been completely overwhelmed emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've been in "survival mode" for 12 months, and exhausted in every way, nothing at all left over at the end (or beginning!) of each day to give, even to myself. In the past few weeks I've begun to slowly become aware of how I was feeling, and yet still resisted doing anything about it! Only now, today, do I feel I'm emerging from the long dark tunnel. Expressing these feelings here in writing is my first tentative step back into the light.

I suppose we all go through times of life like this, where all our energy is focused outside ourselves. This is the nature of life in modern times I think. Things move so fast, we are inundated with information from every side, and feel some pressure to not just keep up, but to excel. Unfortunately in times like these, often the first things to fall away are the habits and practices that would best sustain us, carry us through successfully.

Well, today is a new day. I can choose to start anew, choose to refocus some of my attention and energy back on me. I can choose to replenish my own well so that I can give to others. I can choose to forgive myself for being neglectful, and start again caring for myself, body and soul.

As I write, I am sitting by our pool watching the beautiful Hawaiian sunrise. The air is damp after cooling overnight rain storms, replenishing the earth to withstand another hot summer day. Two garden snails are keeping me company, slowly but surely making determined progress across the lanai to some unknown point. As always in nature, I find perfect reminders that life is not a race to a destination, but a journey to be enjoyed slowly, and every new day brings a chance to begin again.

With warm aloha from my heart to yours...

A Love Poem From Your Higher Self

A love poem from your higher self...

Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you

Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you
Through every turn I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

"Magic"~ Olivia Newton John

Lyrics by Ann and Nancy Wilson, Gary Webb, and Pam Sheyne

Choose Forgiveness, Free Yourself

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who helped lead South Africa through the demise of apartheid knows a thing or two about forgiveness. He and his daughter have written a book on the subject, and I happened to see them interviewed this morning. Here's a paraphrasing of their thoughts on forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a spiritual tool in the light-worker's tool box. When you forgive someone it doesn't mean you endorse what was done, or absolve them of the act, or forget what happened. It means that you choose to release the anger and negativity that keeps you energetically tied to the person. It means that you choose to no longer "hold it against them", as the energy required to hold this negativity drains and continues to punish you far more than it does the other person. Choosing to forgive brings you peace of mind and peace of spirit. Forgiveness is freedom, a gift that you choose to give to yourself.

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Do You Know Who You Really Are?

In the physical world there is a lot of emphasis placed on appearances, so much so that often our own sense of identity is constructed exclusively around how we appear to others. But you, the real you, is not your body, your face, your teeth, or your hair. This is merely a “flesh suit”, a  “human costume” that your spirit has chosen to wear for a time, in order to be able to experience and enjoy the physical realm. “You” are not even your thoughts, for those originate from your human mind.

The real you is a glowing, star-bright being, a spark of divine creation, a beautiful bundle of glittering particles of love and joy. You are a cell in the body of Spirit/Source/God. You came to this world for the merest blink-of-the-eye in the span of eternity to live, learn and love. Life is not meant to be a struggle, and once you “remember” who you truly are, it will cease to be.

Wishing you the power to make this connection and have a magical, miraculous, love-filled life. And so it is…..

Relationships Are Mirrors (Whether we like it or not!)

Being in "relationship" with friends, family, and lovers, is an essential element of a deeply satisfying life. One of the most basic human needs is to be in close community with others, to feel that we "belong". This stems from physiological needs for safety and survival, but there is also a great emotional need in most of us to share our life experiences with others. Being in a close relationship with another human can be immensely rewarding, extremely challenging, and sometimes both simultaneously!

All relationships are mirrors, reflecting back to us the positive, loving, wonderful things about ourselves, and if we're willing, helping us to see where our wounds are, and where we need healing. The people we attract and are attracted to mirror back to us our deeply-rooted beliefs about relationships, and for better or worse, the qualities we ourselves have.

I believe that life is a classroom and relationships are like the "lab" portion, where we get to practice what we are learning. We attract and are attracted to interact with certain people because of things we need to see or learn about our lives and ourselves. When someones behavior "pushes our buttons", they are mirroring some deep, negative self-belief back to us, which is uncomfortable for us to look at. So our initial instinct and ego-based defense mechanism is to judge them guilty and push them away, or in extreme cases to lash out so they will leave the relationship.

When someone does something that "drives us crazy", or that we find ourselves judging them for, instead of pointing our finger we need to look within ourselves to see why this behavior bothers us so much. (Like the old saying goes "When I point a finger at you, there are three more pointing back at me!") Instead of focusing our attention on the other person, we need to ask ourselves "What is it about me that finds your behavior so irritating?" When we look inward and honestly assess our own emotional state, we usually find that the negative feelings are actually about our "shadow side". We discover that what is being "irritated" or causing our feeling of discomfort, is our dislike of our own possession of the quality or behavior that's being reflected. If we're willing to do the work, this is in fact a huge opportunity for our own healing and emotional growth!

When we learn to forgive ourselves for being human and therefore imperfect, it becomes much easier to forgive others for the same. When we find compassion for ourselves, letting ourselves "off the hook" for mistakes and imperfections, we are able to be compassionate with others. Once we learn to love and accept all parts of ourselves, it becomes much easier to love and accept others exactly as they are. Their faults and flaws will no longer annoy us, interacting with them will no longer be irritating, and life becomes much more peaceful. So the next time someone "pushes your buttons", remember to look in the mirror!

The Changing Face of the Goddess

If you read my blog regularly, you may already be aware that I am currently writing a series of books for girls and women called "The Spiritual Girl's Guide to Love and The Universe." It seems to me that too many girls grow up and go through life with a low sense of self-value, feeling badly about themselves and settling for relationships and situations that are far less than they deserve. I think that modern society reinforces these negative self-perceptions by presenting largely unrealistic and practically unattainable ideals of beauty through perfection. Through my blog, books, facebook page, and women's circles, I passionately hope to help women of all ages to discover and treasure their own unique light, and the incredible beauty that lies in their "imperfections". For like snowflakes we are all unique, but all beautiful in our own way.

This video (link below) is a wonderful illustration that what is considered to be "beautiful" in a woman changes dramatically and often over the ages. I hope it will serve as a reminder not to compare yourself to what is considered by society to be "beautiful", as beauty is subjective and is truly in the eye of the beholder!

You are the most amazing , beautiful version of YOU that has ever existed or ever will exist! Revel in your uniqueness, and know that those who truly love you find you beautiful and perfect, exactly as you are.


Video by Phillip Scott Johnson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUDIoN-_Hxs

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1 New Year, 7 New Possibilities!

I don't really make New Year's resolutions, because let's face it they rarely last more than a week. But I do love the very idea of January 1st each year. I see it as a blank slate, a fresh start, a time for a new beginning. It's like the very moment before creation, where absolutely anything is possible! Dreams can come true no matter how big, lives can change in amazing ways in the blink of an eye. Each year in this positive, excited, optimistic state of mind, I like to contemplate all the new possibilities of how I can live my life for the next 365 days. Here are a few that I'm considering for 2014:

1. Watch more sunsets. Every day the Universe puts on two spectacular shows, known as "sunrise" and "sunset." Not being a morning person pretty much rules out the first one, but if I am willing to be a little more intentional, I can likely catch the second one on a semi-regular basis. Watching a sunset for me is the equivalent of petting a fluffy kitten, or staring at an aquarium. It's centering, calming, blood-pressure-lowering, and a daily dose of soul-soothing natural beauty.

2. Flirt more. I'm going to flirt with everyone, men, women, children, dogs, the grocery check out clerk, the fed-ex deliverer, the mom and 3 kids at the playground, the 85 year old usher at church. My mother was a Southern girl and boy, did she know how to flirt! Yes, she had men of all ages wrapped around her little finger, but she had the ability to focus her attention on every person she interacted with and to make them feel special, like they really mattered. Flirting was second nature to her, and after years of resisting "turning out like my Mother," I now realize how awesome she was in this way. So I'm going to flirt more, not to get a specific outcome, just to show up as love. There is not enough love in the world, we are too stingy with our love. What is it for if not to give away?

3 Listen more. This goes hand in hand with "talk less." I think we all need to feel that we are heard, that someone really "gets" us and what we have to say. But most conversations are two people talking "at" one another, each thinking about what they want to say next while the other is speaking instead of really listening. In 2014 I want to become the world's best listener.

4. Eat healthier. Like probably 99% of the general population in the U.S., I would like to lose a few pounds this year. Preferably the 10-12 that I "found" over the last 2 years. But after a lifetime of "yo-yo-ing" I have come to the stunning realization that "diets" don't work. At least not long term, not for me. So I've made a new decision. Before I put a food item in my mouth I will ask myself this simple question "Is it healthy and good for me?" (At this point in my life I pretty much know what's healthy and what's not.) If the answer is yes, then I will eat it. If the answer is "no" then I'll make a different choice. Period.

5. Move more. Forget "exercising," I want to PLAY. I want to dance. I want to jump on a trampoline, roller skate, and ride a bike down a hill as fast as I can go. I want to have more fun while moving my body. When we were kids we didn't "exercise," we went out to play and had fun! Time to get back to "playing".

6. Be gentle with myself. I try to be a kind person. I give people the benefit of the doubt and multiple "second" chances. It's time I treated myself the same way, to love myself despite my perceived flaws and faults, to allow myself to be an imperfect human. I am realizing that as long as something is learned from the experience there are no mistakes, only lessons.

7. Allow things (and people) to be what they are. If I can find compassion for myself (see #6) it will be much easier to have compassion for others. I think we spend way too much valuable time and energy trying to make people and relationships "fit" our expectations. I'm going to try to let people show up (or not) the way they are, and to love them anyway. "People show us who they are." I'm going to start believing them, the first time!

*Author's note: It's February 6th, and some of these possibilities have already fallen by the wayside. However, I am going to forgive myself and start over! After all, each new day brings a new beginning....

The Care and Feeding of Your Inner Child

As babies and children, we all enter this world in our natural, unpolluted state of pure love and joy. Until the world teaches us otherwise, we don't know anything different. We have to be taught to be afraid, to be ashamed, and to feel guilty and bad about ourselves and others. I am realizing how still-present those small children are in all of us. Our outsides may say "grown-up" but inside that little 4 or 5 year old boy or girl is still very much alive, still with us. I'm realizing that it's my responsibility (no one else's) to take care of that little girl and if I don't, I can become emotionally "needy." (And no one wants to be THAT person!)

But in today's hectic modern world one's inner child often gets lost in the shuffle. We spend tremendous energy caring for the needs of partners, husbands, wives, children, aging parents, grandparents, and very little caring for our own. However, it's similar to the speech the flight attendant gives on every flight "If for some reason the oxygen mask drops, put your own on first then take care of others." We have to care for ourselves first so that we can take care of the others who depend on us! If we keep giving and giving but never stop to fill up our own inner "well," guess what? The well runs dry and no one gets taken care of.

Think of taking care of your inner child in the same terms as you would your own children. It's your responsibility to make sure she eats well. (If I left my food decisions up to my inner child I would have pie, cake, and ice cream for a steady diet!) It's your responsibility to ensure that she gets fresh air, sunshine, and enough sleep. You wouldn't hesitate to make a sick child stay home and rest, or go to a doctor, so why not care for yourself the same way? It's up to us to make sure our inner child has friends and gets to spend time with them. Our "little girls" need to have FUN, and they need to play! And remember when the now-dreaded "exercise" came naturally because we were out "playing"? Instead of forcing ourselves to do the prescribed "one hour cardio and weights three (or four, or five!) times a week," how about finding something that we love doing, that we love PLAYING so that we actually want to go out and do it, as much as possible?

Joy is our birthright. Life is supposed to be enjoyed, the world is meant to be your playground. It's important to your inner child to have joy in your life, to have things to look forward to in the long run, but also daily and weekly. If you need inspiration about how to do this, think back to your childhood and what brought you joy then. Here are a few questions to help get your "Joy Juices" flowing:

When you were a child~ Where did you live? Who were your friends? What were your pets and their names? What sports did you play? What arts, crafts, or hobbies did you enjoy? What other activities did you love? Now examine your answers and ask yourself which of these you might like to rediscover now? Maybe you loved playing kickball. Did you know there are adult kickball leagues all over the country now? Or maybe you remember learning to knit and might want to take it up again. It could be that you'll think of things you've always wanted to try but haven't had a chance to yet. The point is: life is short, find what brings you joy and DO IT!

Taking good care of our inner child is so important because it makes us feel loved. If we take good care of our inner little ones, we won't be looking for others to do it for us. When we feel loved, it is easy to love others without expectation, which creates more love in the world! And that's always a good thing...

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Powerful Women Create Miracles!

A few months ago I wrote about attending my first "women's circle," and how moved I was by the experience. (http://livelaughloveinla.blogspot.com/2013/02/the-power-of-circle.html) Since then I have attended many more circles, and have now become a facilitator for one that gathers once a month near the full moon. We chose that time to come together to honor the influence the moon has on women and the connection we feel to it. This community is composed of women of all ages, ethnicities, and from all walks of life who come together to support each other in our spiritual growth, and to share our life-wisdom gained from experience. We gather in a circle of unconditional love and acceptance for each other, which is teaching us unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves. We are not there to judge, to fix each other, to give advice, or to tell what to do, for doing so would imply that we don't believe she is capable of doing it for herself. We are there simply to listen and to witness so that each knows that she has been truly seen and heard. We provide a mirror for each other, to see our own experiences and life-lessons through those of our sister's. No one is above, no one is below, in a circle we are all equal, and while beautifully different, at our core we are all the same; souls striving to learn and grow. We've been coming together for six months now, and miracles are happening! Healing is taking place, deep bonds are being formed, dreams recently rediscovered are coming true, old negative self-beliefs are being released. What an incredible gift!

After attending my first circle I wrote about the power I felt in it. Now I am seeing how lives are changed and transformed. Coming together in a circle of light-minded, open-hearted women encourages and enables us to step into our highest version of ourselves. In an environment of unconditional love, we blossom and grow. We bask in all that love, soaking it up and filling our hearts to take back to our beloveds and our families, and as a result our relationships improve! As we speak our deepest truths, and see ourselves truly heard by others we are empowered to listen to our hearts and to create the life of our dreams.

I believe this is a hugely valuable message that needs to be shared with women everywhere. I've become involved in helping to make a documentary about the power of women when we come together in love. If you are curious, and would like to see inside a woman's circle, please watch the trailer for our upcoming movie. If it inspires you, please consider donating to help us finish the project and spread the love to women around the world!

http://www.gofundme.com/CatchYourDreamsTheMovie

Infinite light, blessings, and aloha,
Hokulani

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Rise and Shine!

"You've got to get up every morning

with a smile on your face and show the world

all the love in your heart,

people gonna treat you better

you're gonna find, yes you will

that you're beautiful...
you're beautiful as you feel."

~Carole King~

There's a saying that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and maybe that is true. What one person finds beautiful may not be the same as another. But I believe that a more radiant beauty is found in the heart and soul. When you are happy and loving, your face lights up and softens. Everyone is more beautiful when they are joyful, everyone is more attractive when they are smiling.

Your soul is made of pure love and joy. When your heart is open, the entire world will find you beautiful. 

Finding the Love of Your Life- YOU!

I've been noticing lately that in today’s world there is so much emphasis on finding your "soul-mate." There are books, television shows, workshops, and newsletters that give mountains of advice on the subject. Even girls in their teens dream about growing up and meeting their soul mate. I do believe in soul-mates, but it just feels like there is way too much focus on filling yourself up with love from external sources. It feels like as a society we are all "on the hunt" for something, "the ONE" whose love is going to solve all our problems and fulfill all our needs. This almost-feverish obsession feels a little (ok, a LOT) unhealthy to me.

Here's the thing though, relationships can only be as healthy as the two people in them. Which means that even when you meet your soul-mate, if YOU are not healthy, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, the relationship will not be what you've dreamed of. In truth, the only person who knows exactly how you feel and what you need, and who will always be there for you, is YOU. So by expecting this from another person, we are really setting the relationship up to fail from the beginning. Our relationship with ourselves is the most important one, and where we should be focusing our energy. I truly believe that if we do this, the "soul-mate" relationship will naturally follow, and it will be so much better!

“Self-love is the magic key that unlocks the chains of the past and frees us to experience the present in a state of deep happiness, peace, and joy.” 

When we learn to love and accept ourselves completely, we can love and accept our beloved more fully, and create with them the deep intimacy we all seek. In order to do this, we have to understand what barriers we might have against love. I saw Tony Robbins (the life coach/motivational speaker) on TV recently and he said that of all the people he's coached, including Presidents, CEO's, professional athletes, and movie stars, the most common deep-rooted, self-belief is some version of "I'm not good enough." This usually comes from spoken or unspoken messages received in childhood, and it usually turns into "I'm not good enough, therefore I'm not lovable." Having this belief about yourself creates so much fear and anxiety, which we carry into our life experiences. It colors how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. This seems to be the biggest obstacle that we all have in common when it comes to love.

Children come into the world as beings of pure light, love and joy. That’s who we all are at our deepest core. But then we have experiences that teach us guilt and shame, and these become our “stories” that we tell ourselves over and over again. In some instances, we even create experiences that will reinforce them! It’s important to understand where these negative self-beliefs came from, so we can release them and return to our original state of love. Usually these childhood experiences were things that happened that actually had nothing to do with us, or our worth, but our still-developing minds interpreted as being about us, or our fault. We can go back and change our "stories." We can make new decisions about who we are and what we are worth, and when we do, everything changes.

"We attract what we are, not what we want." If you want love, become love. This means falling in love with yourself, and learning to love yourself the way you dream of being loved; unconditionally, faults, flaws and all. Get so happy in your life that you no longer need that "soul-mate" to show up, because that's exactly when the right one arrives. Become your own "soul-mate" and watch the magic happen!

The Dance of Following Your Dreams

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world." ~Marianne Williamson
 
In the past 24 hours, I've heard from two different friends who were both dealing with the same issue. They're both very creative, talented people with big dreams, but are currently experiencing crippling self-doubt. I think this is a very wide-spread problem that everyone experiences to some degree, whether they are aware of it or not. The fact is, we are all very creative, talented people, in our own unique ways, but we've allowed "that voice" in our heads to convince us otherwise. "That voice" is our ego. It is a built-in protective device that is part of the human package, but it takes it's function way too far. It is the part of us that wants to wall us away from everyone else so we can never be hurt, but keeps us instead alone and isolated. When it comes to creativity it is our worst critic, constantly judging, constantly comparing our work to others, and whispering "You'll never be as good, so why try?"

But here's what we must realize: when you arrived in this physical world your soul was encoded with a divine plan, your purpose for this lifetime. You were given dreams, which are visions of your destiny. You were also given special abilities and talents to help you accomplish this heavenly mission on earth.  This is what makes you, YOU. Who are we to question this divine plan and these gifts? In allowing our ego to make us doubt ourselves and turn away from our destiny, we are completely going against the laws of the Universe. Our higher purpose is one of the things that gives deeper meaning to our lives. But many of us allow these dreams and visions, and even our unique gifts and talents to slip away as we lose faith in ourselves, and "real life" demands our attention and energy. This leaves us feeling lost and empty, wondering "Is this all there is to life?" 

If this has happened to you, it's important to recover those gifts and talents, and to grow and nurture them. Rediscover your dreams, and keep them alive in your heart, trusting that the Universe is programmed to automatically support you in achieving them. Keep in mind that while not everybody reaches "the top," the journey is the real destination. It's not for you to determine how "big" of a success you will be, that's Spirit's job. Your job is to "follow your bliss," whatever that may be. Let go of the self-judgment of your talents and your success level. Thank your ego for it's opinion, and then tell it to sit down and shut up! Let your intuition guide you. It's the voice of your soul, eternal and infinitely wise, it knows the way. Take a baby step, and see how it feels. If it feels good, take another one. Listen. Trust. If you reach a point where you feel guided to make a leap of faith, trust that the Universe will rise up to meet you. Let Spirit be in charge of the eventual outcome, it's out of your control anyway!

It's important to have goals, but to stay open and allow divine guidance from Spirit and your higher self to come through. Don't let your ego persuade you that it knows the best way to your dreams, and don't be too attached to specific routes or results. Your ego wants you to focus on the material path, to pursue the money, but if you choose to follow Spirit's lead, you will always be provided for. Watch for the signs, and listen for the messages that are guiding you. Keep taking one step at a time even if you cannot see in the moment how it will lead you to your ultimate goal. Keep listening, keep trusting, keep following. Eventually you'll realize that you're not just "stepping" any more, you're dancing! It's the dance between enlightened human and Spirit, the dance of co-creating the life of your dreams.

Hold your dream in your heart, but always allow Spirit to lead!

The Magic of Going With the Flow

"You are never given a dream without also being given the power to make it come true. You may have to work for it, however."  

Illusions by Richard Bach

It's important to have dreams. Our dreams are messages from our soul about our destiny in life. They lead us on our path, and help us to find our divine purpose. But sometimes we get so obsessed about making our dream come true, and trying to control everything, that we completely close the Divine out of the situation. It's important to remember that we are co-creating our lives with Spirit, and while we do have to show up every day and do our part in working towards our dreams, we also have to allow the Universe room to work. How do we do this? By releasing our expectations around the hows and whens of the situation. Dream the dream, then surrender the details of it to Spirit. Trust that the Universe is programmed to automatically assist and support you in your divine purpose on Earth.

I have a dear friend who felt very led and guided to open her own business, even though times are tough and the economy is not thriving. She has been busting her butt to get this business going, and while clients are beginning to trickle in, the numbers are not yet what she needs to help support her young family. Of course this is causing her incredible stress and heartache, worrying constantly about being able to meet their bills, while she watches her husband work double shifts trying to make ends meet. She is praying constantly for help, for guidance, for assistance but is not hearing anything. But instead of asking "show me how to support my family" she is praying for a specific result, "please show me how to bring in more clients, or one big client." What she doesn't realize is that by doing this she is narrowing the infinite possibilities of the Universe. She wants her dream so badly that she is insisting to the Universe that the help she needs must look a certain way. It appears to her that her prayers are going unanswered, when in all likelihood she is receiving guidance and messages every day that she is not seeing or hearing because they don't come in the form she is expecting. She is trying to dictate to Spirit how the help should appear. This is our ego at work, it thinks it knows best, even better than the Universe! It's often this way when we are very attached to specific outcomes.

The areas of our lives that are the most dear, the most precious (like our dreams) are the hardest to surrender, but they are exactly the ones where we need the most assistance! Instead of being open and allowing the Universe to guide us, we become like recalcitrant children wanting our way.  When you feel you are banging your head against a brick wall trying to make something happen, stop and look for a door! If you don't immediately see a door, ask Spirit to help you find the door, but then keep your eyes open for unexpected opportunities. The door may not be blue like you think it should be, it may be red instead. You may not be able to see in that moment how entering that red door will lead you to your dream. But if you step through in faith, chances are excellent that the end result will be as good or better than anything you imagined.

Often we try to put what the Universe is trying to give us in a "box" that looks a very specific way. I have found that if we can release that picture in our mind of how it's supposed to look, what actually occurs is 100 times bigger and better. As Oprah says "You dream a dream, but the dream the Universe dreams for you is so much BIGGER!" We have to surrender control, trust that all is unfolding for our highest good and greatest benefit, and ALLOW the Universe to work through and for us by being flexible and open to ALL possibilities. That's the magic of "going with the flow."

A Poem from my 13 year-old Self

When a man looks at a flower,

he sees a flower.

But when a child looks at a flower,

he sees a thing of beauty and color.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at a tree,

he sees only a tree.

But when a child looks at a tree,

he sees a thing of motion and life.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at another man

he sees merely another man.

But when a child looks at a man,

he sees the person deep inside,

warm and glowing.

A creation of God.

When a man looks at the sun and stars,

he sees just the sun and stars.

But when a child looks at the sun and stars,

he sees in each a guiding light,

always there day or night.

Creations of God.

When a man looks at God,

he sees very little, only a faint shape.

But when a child looks at God,

he sees a flower, a tree, a man,

the sun and stars, beauty, color, motion,

life, warmth, glow, a guiding light that is

always there, day or night,

and most of all

Love.

This is God.

God is His creations,

His creations are God.

The Girl's Guide to The Universe

An excerpt from my upcoming gift-book for girls.

You are a beautiful being, unlike any other.

In all the history of the world, there has never been and never will be anyone exactly like you. This makes you very special! No matter what you may think, like a snowflake you are beautiful in your own unique way. Everyone has their own beauty. It may not be traditional beauty, but it is your beauty.

Learn to celebrate and treasure the ways that you are different. These are the things that make you YOU. Do not compare yourself to others, especially not to the glossy magazine covers with air-brushed pictures of models or actresses. These are completely unrealistic representations of "beauty." Comparing yourself to others in any way is pointless and only brings unhappiness. Keep in mind that the definition of what is "beautiful" and "desirable" is subjective and varies greatly from country to country, village to village, and even person to person. "Beauty" truly is in the eye of the beholder. All that really matters is what you think, what you believe about yourself. The people who matter will see your soul, and treasure you for the unique, special being that you are! Life is not a beauty competition. It is about being the very best version of YOU that you can be.  

 It's OK not to know.

It's OK to not know who you are and what you want yet. That's what your 20's are for. Like the transformation of a caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly, you are still in the process of becoming who you will be. You are learning to transition to the "real world," away from the protection of your parents, learning to spread your wings and fly. This period of your life is a time to learn balance, self-discipline, and how to take care of yourself in every way. It is a time of discovering who you really are and finding out what you really believe.

During these years, you are like a piece of artwork still being "created," and you are the creator. This time is for experimenting with life, deciding what works for you and why, and what doesn't. Many lessons will be learned, including some painful ones. Do not beat yourself up about making mistakes, that's what this time is for. The important part is to learn! No experience is wasted, if something is learned in the process.

Live, love, learn! This is the purpose of life.

                                  

                                   

You are not alone.

Everyone goes through difficult times while growing up. If you have gone through painful experiences, know that you are not alone. Everyone has insecurities, some are just better at covering them up than others. Often the ones who seem the most confident, the most "well-adjusted" are actually the ones who are just the best at acting as if all is well. Science has shown that the teenage brain is still forming and at the same time is overloaded with the effects of hormonal changes. You are going through a period where you are literally not yet in your right mind! This means that everyone your age is going through exactly the same process, whether they show it or not.

If you are worried about the future, fearful about whether you can make it in the "real world," understand that this is completely normal. Going out on your own is like being at the top of the worlds' largest roller coaster, it's absolutely thrilling and completely terrifying at the same time!

Know that this time of life will pass, and you will be fine.

                                                               

Life is a classroom.

There is no instruction manual for life. We are meant to learn through trial and error. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone experiences difficult times. What counts is not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up! Challenging times and experiences are what enable us to grow. They shape us, and make us stronger. Author Richard Bach writes "There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands." When faced with a challenge, remember to always look for the gift.

Your life is a tapestry that you are weaving, made up of the decisions and choices that you make, as well as the consequences of those decisions and choices. Do not allow challenges or even failures to define who you are, or what your future will be. You don't know how strong you can be, until you have no other choice. There will be times when the world does not seem fair, but you can rise above the difficulties. By surviving the challenges, you will become smarter and stronger, more ready and able to do great things!

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Taking Back Your Power!

"What happens to us externally does not determine our internal condition. It is what we tell ourselves about what is happening externally that determines our internal condition."

I find this quote to be extremely profound. In essence it is saying that it is not what's going on around us that causes us emotional stress and pain, but our own internal dialogue about what is happening. This also means that no one can hurt your feelings, without your permission! If the actions of another cause you pain, you are allowing it to happen, by "buying into it." Sound crazy? Let me explain.

The reason the words and actions of others have power over us and the ability to hurt us is that they touch a nerve deep inside us. This nerve is connected to an old wound that still needs to be healed. This wound usually occurred during childhood, when someone close to us did something to us, or said something and in that moment we decided it was our fault. We took on the guilt and made an assumption or decision about ourselves, most likely some version of "I'm not good enough", "I'm not worthy of love", or "I'm not perfect, therefore I am not lovable" (thanks to my dear perfectionist mother, this is my personal recurring one.) Once this decision about our own value and worth is made, we live the rest of our lives with this underlying, negative, severely-limiting, completely false self-belief. We move through life viewing all of our experiences through this filter, with our ego actually looking for "proof" to support these negative self-beliefs, and using it against us to keep us isolated and alone. It's only through learning self-love and acceptance that we can change that old belief structure, reprogramming our thoughts and redefining the "filter" that we experience life through.

In reality, the actions taken by another person are 99.9% about them, their mindset, their fears, their "stories" in their heads. But we are egocentric beings, and so we tend to take things personally even when they aren't about us. What happens is that in that moment when something is said to us, or done to us that touches that nerve, our ego sneaks in and uses it against us. It starts whispering what I call "scary stories" such as "See? I told you, you're not good enough!" Or "See? You're not lovable/worthy of love."  It is actually this internal dialogue that is causing the emotional distress and pain, not the actions or words of the other person! Whatever the person has said or done, it has touched an old wound in you, causing the ego to rear it's ugly head.

Here's an example: Perhaps you have a boss who rules through fear and intimidation. She is constantly finding fault with everything that you do. You know intellectually that you are very good at what you do, but her repetitive nit-picking makes you feel like an inadequate and incompetent five year old. This causes you to be upset and feel badly because her criticism is activating an old negative self-belief of being "not good enough" and the ego is seizing on this opportunity to push you into fear. Quite simply, her words are causing you pain because on some deep level you believe them! She is reinforcing something deep in you, a negative self-belief that you have "bought into", and this is where the disconnect from love is occurring. This moment, when you begin to feel this emotional pain is actually a red-flag that LOVE is needed! This is the moment to change your internal dialogue. Instead of telling yourself "See? I knew it, I'm not good enough!" and making yourself miserable,  this is the moment to step in and say "It's OK, because I KNOW I'm good enough! I am a being of beautiful light and love! I may not be perfect, but that's OK, I'm awesome just the way I am! And I LOVE ME!" This will enable you to return to a sane place, and to view the situation rationally. By removing that knee-jerk emotional response you are able to see that likely it is her own issues that are being projected onto you, and you can choose to not let it affect you.

I think every human being on the planet has ingrained in us some degree of "I'm not good enough" or "I'm not lovable", which gives the ego a weapon to use against us. I think the only solution is to change our inner dialogue with ourselves and pour love on it, to DROWN it in love!! If you truly love and accept yourself, flaws and all, and believe in your basic "goodness", then no one can hurt you emotionally, because you will be able to see that whatever is going on, it's not about you! By changing what you are saying to yourself, about yourself in those difficult moments, you will be changing what you are feeling, shifting from fear to love, pain to peace. Through self-love you are taking responsibility for, and control over your own feelings.

I know this concept may be hard to grasp at first, but it is so powerful. Once you learn to see and love your own divine goodness, and release those old notions of guilt and unworthiness, you gain the ability to stand strong in yourself and to not take on the negativity being projected by the words and actions of others. By rejecting fear and choosing love, you are taking back your power!

Love and light to all.