These events combined with this time of forced stillness has been for me the perfect opportunity to go within, and to learn and grow. I believe that our relationships are mirrors that reflect back to us our wounds, and where we need healing. I've been witnessing some of my interactions with friends, neighbors, and on social media during this time and some of it hasn't been pretty. I see that my ego is on high alert, in a super-defensive, "I know best" mode. This situation has really brought my need to be "right" to the forefront, and also the need for others to see and acknowledge that I am right. My ego says that they need to think like I do about everything that is important now, and if they don't they are WRONG. And furthermore, that it's my JOB to enlighten them and make them SEE that they're wrong. I'm witnessing myself getting very upset over disputes regarding "facts" and "fake news," to the point that my adrenaline is flowing and my heart is racing! Wow, what a ridiculous amount of extra stress to put on myself at this already challenging time, and completely unnecessary.
This is clearly ego-driven, and feels very rooted in left brain, traditional male-type energy. Well, as of today I'm choosing to let it go! The divine feminine is rising in the world, and in me. I am letting go of the need to convince everyone to come to my point of view. One of my dearest friends without even knowing, mirrored back to me this flawed thinking. I love her so much, she has a beautiful, playful, sunshine & love-filled soul, and yet she thinks VERY differently than I do about many things happening right now. I am realizing THAT'S OK. My ego wants to think less of her, but my heart refuses. I am realizing that my way is not the only way. My truth is not necessarily the same truth for others. We all see the world through the lens of our own unique experiences, and the ways we interpret the exact same events are as diverse as we are. I can choose to bless and release everyone to think as they choose, believe as "truth" what they believe, and I can love them anyway. I can choose to release the need to force everyone to see things the same way that I see them. Whew, what a relief! That was a lot to be carrying around, being responsible for how EVERYONE thinks. Hey ego, guess what? I AM NOT THE "THOUGHT POLICE!" Now I can see how ridiculous that is. No wonder I'm exhausted! Once again, I am reminded that acceptance and the release of expectations are the keys to my inner peace.
Elizabeth Gilbert said recently that some people will thrive during this challenging time; learn a language, lose weight, write a book, but that it's also ok to just survive. I feel like I am surviving, but also growing. And in the midst of all this uncertainty, that feels like a gift.
