Saturday, May 2, 2020

Giving Up the Role of "Thought Police"


The time period we are living through right now is unprecedented.  A global pandemic, national health emergencies, self isolation, and more recently, civil unrest and disagreement on how to move forward. Sadly, instead of being united by sharing these common challenges, it seems that right now my country is more divided than it has been in over a hundred years.

These events combined with this time of forced stillness has been for me the perfect opportunity to go within, and to learn and grow. I believe that our relationships are mirrors that reflect back to us our wounds, and where we need healing. I've been witnessing some of my interactions with friends, neighbors, and on social media during this time and some of it hasn't been pretty. I see that my ego is on high alert, in a super-defensive, "I know best" mode. This situation has really brought my need to be "right" to the forefront, and also the need for others to see and acknowledge that I am right. My ego says that they need to think like I do about everything that is important now, and if they don't they are WRONG. And furthermore, that it's my JOB to enlighten them and make them SEE that they're wrong. I'm witnessing myself getting very upset over disputes regarding "facts" and "fake news," to the point that my adrenaline is flowing and my heart is racing! Wow, what a ridiculous amount of extra stress to put on myself at this already challenging time, and completely unnecessary.

This is clearly ego-driven, and feels very rooted in left brain, traditional male-type energy. Well, as of today I'm choosing to let it go! The divine feminine is rising in the world, and in me. I am letting go of the need to convince everyone to come to my point of view. One of my dearest friends without even knowing, mirrored back to me this flawed thinking. I love her so much, she has a beautiful, playful, sunshine & love-filled soul, and yet she thinks VERY differently than I do about many things happening right now. I am realizing THAT'S OK. My ego wants to think less of her, but my heart refuses. I am realizing that my way is not the only way. My truth is not necessarily the same truth for others. We all see the world through the lens of our own unique experiences, and the ways we interpret the exact same events are as diverse as we are. I can choose to bless and release everyone to think as they choose, believe as "truth" what they believe, and I can love them anyway. I can choose to release the need to force everyone to see things the same way that I see them. Whew, what a relief! That was a lot to be carrying around, being responsible for how EVERYONE thinks. Hey ego, guess what? I AM NOT THE "THOUGHT POLICE!" Now I can see how ridiculous that is. No wonder I'm exhausted! Once again, I am reminded that acceptance and the release of expectations are the keys to my inner peace.

Elizabeth Gilbert said recently that some people will thrive during this challenging time; learn a language, lose weight, write a book, but that it's also ok to just survive. I feel like I am surviving, but also growing. And in the midst of all this uncertainty, that feels like a gift.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Calling All Angels


Aloha Light Workers,

These are dark and uncertain times, but it occurred to me in meditation this morning that these are the times WE were born for. I believe the time is now for all light beings, wherever we may be in the world, to use our roles as light-workers, light-warriors, and light-bringers to assist with the massive, global transformation that is in the process of occurring. I believe that now is finally the true dawning of the "Age of Aquarius", of peace, harmony, and understanding. It seems to me that our old way of life on planet earth is dying, and we must step forward to assist with the birth of a new heart-centered consciousness. 
Giving birth is messy, bloody and painful but if we each do what we can in our own families, circle of friends, & communities to help spread love where fear is rising, to shine the light & help keep people calm while adjusting, the world, and everyone in it will be a much better place when all this craziness passes.
I am feeling this call deep in my soul, are you? I'm not certain how to move forward, or what I can do to help from the confines of my home.  So, I'm starting with regularly holding my friends and family, my beloved islands, my country, and also the entire globe in my heart and in my daily prayers. I'm sharing positive, calming, loving posts on social media (and humorous too, as laughter is from joy, and joy is good for the soul.) And I'm writing this blog which statistics tell me is read all over the planet, in an effort to spread the message of hope, of change, of love as far and wide, to as many souls as possible.

"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me."

Beaming love from my heart to yours, for we are all ONE. Stay safe, stay well.
 Hokulani 

What if...
we subscribe to the philosophy that life is always working out for us, that there is an intelligence far greater than humans at work...
That all is interconnected. 
What if...
this corona virus is here to help us? 
To reset.
To remember.
What is truly important.
Reconnecting with family and community.
Reducing travel so that the environment, the skies, the air, our lungs all get a break.
Parts of China are seeing blue sky and clouds for the first time in forever with the factories being shut down.
Working from home rather than commuting to work (less pollution, more personal time).
Reconnecting with family as there is more time at home.
An invitation to turn inwards -- a deep meditation -- rather than the usual extroverted going out to self-soothe.
To reconnect with self -- what is really important to me?
A reset economically. 
The working poor. The lack of healthcare access for over 30 million in the US. The need for paid sick leave. 
How hard does one need to work to be able to live, to have a life outside of work?
And, washing our hands -- how did that become a "new" thing that we needed to remember. But, yes, we did. 
The presence of Grace for all. 
There is a shift underway in our society -- what if it is one that is favorable for us?
What if this virus is an ally in our evolution? 
In our remembrance of what it means to be connected, humane, living a simpler life, to be less impactful/ more kind to our environment. 
An offering from my heart this morning. Offered as another perspective. Another way of relating to this virus, this unfolding, this evolution. 
It was time for a change, we all knew that.
And, change has arrived. 
What if...

- Gutpreet Gill
AKA- Tran P. Tai

Friday, April 3, 2020

Staying Sane in a Crazy World


It's the end of week 3 of "social distancing" in the United States, due to COVID-19. Wow, how life has changed!

My inner guide loves to play DJ. I often find songs stuck in my head that when I stop to consider the lyrics reveal messages directly related to my life and what's happening in it at that very moment. Right now the chorus of a song by REM is playing over and over. "It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...." Weird right? But actually I DO feel as if it's the end of the world as we know it. I don't think we will ever go back to "normal" as it was. What we are experiencing right now, as a collective, global community is completely unprecedented. No one knows how this ends. No one knows how this crisis will affect us or our way of life, long term. To say the future is uncertain is an understatement. Not only is the distant future uncertain, but next week is completely uncertain. The human psyche HATES to deal with uncertainty. It is scary and uncomfortable. We are at a crucial turning point, as individuals and as a species. We can choose love or we can choose fear.

Personally, I have gone to my default position for whenever life gets challenging or scary. My mantra always is "I trust that all is unfolding according to a divine plan, for my greatest good and highest benefit. Whether I can see it in this moment, or not." So I am not only holding this thought for my own life, trusting that all will turn out OK, but also for the collective good, for the world. Things are bad right now. People are dying, others are losing people close and important to them. But I have to believe that good will come of it. I feel like blind faith is required now, faith in whatever gets you through life, or even just through the day. I have faith that better days are ahead. I have faith that everything always turns out alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end. We just have to keep that faith and stick together, keep putting one foot in front of the other, marking one day off the calendar at a time. Try not to "future trip" about next month, or even next week. If nothing else, this thing is teaching us to live in the present, because we have ZERO idea what tomorrow will bring. We just have to stay sane, whatever it takes to make that happen.

Here's what's working for me right now, helping to keep me sane and grounded.

1. Staying connected. Reaching out to friends and family via Zoom, FaceTime, text, email, carrier pigeon, whatever works! Check in regularly, and especially with your friends facing this alone, or those who suffer from depression or anxiety. And staying connected has all kinds of physical health benefits too, like boosting your immune system.

2. Focusing on the good. And there is a LOT of good happening right now, if you look for it. (If the news is stressing you out, feel free to tune out for a bit!) I look for stories that make me feel good, and share things on social media that make me laugh.

3. Releasing things beyond my control. So much of what is happening is way beyond my control. All I can influence is within my four walls really, so I'm choosing to let go of the rest. I cannot control the stock market or it's effect on my 401k, so I release it. I cannot control the government, the President, the Congress, my Governor, my Mayor OR their responses to this. So I choose to release my frustrations and fear. They don't serve me in this situation. When it comes time to vote, I will exercise my power at that time. Until then, it is what it is.

4. Getting outside daily. Long walks with my dog Jax, or playing with him in the yard. Just getting fresh air and sunshine makes me feel better. Nature is so healing.

5. Setting a couple of small goals each day. I'm not working right now, so accomplishing even a few small, mundane things makes me feel productive and a little more "normal."

6. Having some semblance of a schedule, especially a morning routine. Starting off the day in a "normal" way helps make me feel grounded.

7. Meditation, prayer & gratitude. And there is so much to be grateful for. In this moment, I am healthy. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I am ok. I have what I need. I trust that will continue, and I am grateful in advance.

8. Being gentle with myself. It's ok to feel scared, or sad, or depressed. There are no "wrong" feelings. However I'm feeling is appropriate to the moment. I allow myself to feel it then find a way to move back to love.

This is my "new normal." If you are riding this out alone as I am, know that you are alone only in the physical state. In spirit you are never alone. These times are tough for everyone, but I have faith that we will get through this if we do it TOGETHER.  We will make it through if we choose love, not fear. For through love all things are possible.

Praying that you and yours are all healthy and safe. Stay home and we will make it through, apart but together!

Namaste


Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Compassion and Presence in 2019

January 1, 2019, the first day of a brand new year full of possibilities! Rather than make resolutions only to break them in a matter of weeks, days, or (let's be honest) even hours, this year I want to focus on my state of be-ing. I want to decide how I will show up in the world because I know that is how the world will then show up for me in return. Today I'm starting the new year wearing green, the color of abundance, renewal, and regeneration. In Buddhism the Green Tara is the "goddess of compassion and the mother of liberation." She "embodies the healing energy of release from fear and ignorance." Her green color represents the "freshness and newness of energy, reflecting her youthfulness and playfulness."

All of this speaks to me as I move forward into what I feel intuitively will be an important year of change and growth. I want to stay aware of the impact of my human-rational-ego mind on my thoughts and feelings, to pay attention to the fearfulness that prevents me from having compassion, especially for those closest to me. As I allow others close it becomes more challenging to feel the one-ness because my ego constantly seeks to separate by tearing them down and making them "wrong" in every way. I want to be mindful of these blocks to love and to gently release them without judgement or criticism of myself. The ego-rational mind is a natural part of the human condition and "becoming more compassionate" for everyone includes myself! Compassion IS liberation from fearfulness, which allows us to be joyful and playful. (And let's face it, couldn't we all use a little more joy and fun in our lives?)

As with everything, it all comes back to my spiritual practice; meditation, prayer, reading, and for me, writing, which is how I process it all. Staying grounded through daily spiritual practice keeps me in awareness. Staying in gratitude keeps me in a state of joy. Staying in the present moment keeps me grounded in love. This year I seek to stay rooted in the truth that we are all ONE, and to remember that when I resist others, I resist the highest, best part of myself.

Wishing you infinite blessings, love and joy in the new year.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

A New Day


I haven't been writing regularly for a while now, at least a year since I started back to work full-time. I haven't been meditating regularly either...not sure why I stopped but definitely feeling the residual effects of both. I'm out of sorts, disgruntled, disenchanted, grumpy and judgmental. Not my usual self at all, my ego has been running the show. I know that not writing makes me feel disconnected from myself, my true self, my soul. Not meditating disconnects me from Spirit, from my Source, from All That Is Love. My fears and negative self-talk have been allowed to run amok unchecked, leaving my inner child feeling frightened, alone, and unloved. I know all this intellectually, and yet still I've avoided both writing and meditating. WHY??

After not working regularly for almost 2 1/2 yrs, going back to 40+ hrs of a physically demanding job came as quite a shock to my system. Add to this the stress of learning a new position/company. I think I've just been completely overwhelmed emotionally, mentally, and physically. I've been in "survival mode" for 12 months, and exhausted in every way, nothing at all left over at the end (or beginning!) of each day to give, even to myself. In the past few weeks I've begun to slowly become aware of how I was feeling, and yet still resisted doing anything about it! Only now, today, do I feel I'm emerging from the long dark tunnel. Expressing these feelings here in writing is my first tentative step back into the light.

I suppose we all go through times of life like this, where all our energy is focused outside ourselves. This is the nature of life in modern times I think. Things move so fast, we are inundated with information from every side, and feel some pressure to not just keep up, but to excel. Unfortunately in times like these, often the first things to fall away are the habits and practices that would best sustain us, carry us through successfully.

Well, today is a new day. I can choose to start anew, choose to refocus some of my attention and energy back on me. I can choose to replenish my own well so that I can give to others. I can choose to forgive myself for being neglectful, and start again caring for myself, body and soul.

As I write, I am sitting by our pool watching the beautiful Hawaiian sunrise. The air is damp after cooling overnight rain storms, replenishing the earth to withstand another hot summer day. Two garden snails are keeping me company, slowly but surely making determined progress across the lanai to some unknown point. As always in nature, I find perfect reminders that life is not a race to a destination, but a journey to be enjoyed slowly, and every new day brings a chance to begin again.

With warm aloha from my heart to yours...

Monday, April 7, 2014

A Love Poem From Your Higher Self

A love poem from your higher self...


Come take my hand
You should know me
I've always been in your mind
You know that I'll be kind
I'll be guiding you

Building your dream
Has to start now
There's no other road to take
You won't make a mistake
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

From where I stand
You are home free
The planets align so rare
There's promise in the air
And I'm guiding you
Through every turn I'll be near you
I'll come anytime you call
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll be guiding you

You have to believe we are magic
Nothin' can stand in our way
You have to believe we are magic
Don't let your aim ever stray
And if all your hopes survive
Your destiny will arrive
I'll bring all your dreams alive
For you

"Magic"~ Olivia Newton John
Lyrics by Ann and Nancy Wilson, Gary Webb, and Pam Sheyne

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Choose Forgiveness, Free Yourself

Archbishop Desmond Tutu, who helped lead South Africa through the demise of apartheid knows a thing or two about forgiveness. He and his daughter have written a book on the subject, and I happened to see them interviewed this morning. Here's a paraphrasing of their thoughts on forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a spiritual tool in the light-worker's tool box. When you forgive someone it doesn't mean you endorse what was done, or absolve them of the act, or forget what happened. It means that you choose to release the anger and negativity that keeps you energetically tied to the person. It means that you choose to no longer "hold it against them", as the energy required to hold this negativity drains and continues to punish you far more than it does the other person. Choosing to forgive brings you peace of mind and peace of spirit. Forgiveness is freedom, a gift that you choose to give to yourself.

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