Opening to Abundance

The Universal Law of Attraction says that whatever we put out via our thoughts and actions we will receive back, multiplied. Our thoughts and actions are based on our belief-system, which in most cases was formed while we were growing up. These beliefs are made up of things we were told, or that we witnessed or experienced, and then made decisions about. This belief system became "The Truth About How the World Works According to Me", and we have been living our lives ever since accordingly, usually without even being conscious of it.

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person, and fairly self-aware. But this past year of financial insecurity and instability (that I volunteered for) has brought to light some deep-seated, not-so-positive beliefs about money. So I've spent some time thinking about where these ideas originated, and I realize that as a child I made some flawed assumptions about what I was seeing around me. My father did a great job of making and handling the  money in our family, and my mother was mainly interested in spending it. He made sure that she always had what she wanted, and out of love didn't bother her with the stress of how much we had, or how he managed to make it happen. Looking back I can see that with my child's mind I misinterpreted this as an unspoken message that "women can't be trusted with money" or "women aren't smart enough to handle money." I have a vivid memory of my dad sitting me down at about age 17 and telling me that if I wanted to continue to live in the style to which I was accustomed (comfortable upper-middle class), I would need to become a "professional", meaning a doctor, lawyer, etc, and I would need to marry the same. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was not cut out for those kinds of professions, so I made an unconscious decision "OK, I'll never have a lot of money" based on that conversation. (And of course, this became a self-fulfilling prophesy!)

My mom, on the other hand was very much a true "Southern Belle" who went from living with her own father who spoiled her, to living with mine. The belief system I inherited from her was the idea that "there will always be a man to take care of you", and "making and managing money is the man's job". So I think on some deep subconscious level I've been waiting for a man to come along and take care of me financially, because I believed that I wasn't capable of doing it myself. On top of all of this, somewhere along the line I also decided that "wanting money and material things isn't spiritual." The combination of these messages and decisions I made in those early years have influenced the way I think and have lived my life ever since. I have made statements like; "I'll probably never own my own home" (so, of course I haven't), "I'll probably have to work all my life", and "Money isn't that important to me." I've thought many times "as long as I make enough money to just cover my bills, I'm OK", and of course, this is exactly what the Universe has given me. No surprise, all of my adult life despite working hard and climbing several corporate ladders, I have made just enough to pay my bills, and not a penny more. I have been totally limiting myself with my own limited thinking! Even though I was trying consciously to think thoughts of abundance, my subconscious belief system and my resulting actions were completely undermining any progress I might have made.

I believe that we come into this life with a divine purpose, maybe even several. When we are "on our path", meaning making decisions and taking actions aligned with accomplishing this divine plan, our lives are easier, things seem to unfold more smoothly. Doors fly open, red carpets roll out, divine synchronicities occur. (Oprah calls this "being in the flow of Spirit". I love that image!) Conversely, when we stray from our path, things get harder, we get bogged down, and find that every door seems firmly closed, no matter how long or hard we knock. I believe this is the Universe's way of getting us back on track, back on our path to our ultimate destiny. I think that  the financial struggles of this past year were meant to get me back on my path, and to hold up a mirror for me to see how self-sabotaging my thoughts and actions have been. The gift of this past year is that I've been so uncomfortable that I've been forced to take a long, hard look at why I was choosing to live my life this way.

Now that I recognize those old-worn out beliefs and understand where they originated, I can make new decisions based on what I know as an adult to be true. I have decided that I am tired of struggling financially. I am weary of constantly worrying about money. "Just able to pay my bills" is not good enough any more. I can decide that I deserve to have whatever I want, and that I am smart enough to earn it and handle it myself! I know I can manage money and manage it well, after all, I've been "managing" to get by on a small amount successfully for a very long time!  I believe that following my passion and fulfilling my divine purpose in the world is the surest way to achieve these things. I have been playing small, and as Marianne Williamson says "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking....We are all meant to shine."

It's time to reclaim my power, it's time to shine. I believe that the Universe is a playground designed for us to enjoy, and to be happy. So I am choosing to step into the life the Universe wants me to have, no more holding myself back!

Deciding to Fly

"Life is not about what happens to you. It's about how you handle it."

I'm not sure who said this, but I am sure that it's true. You do not always have a choice in what life throws at you, but you do have a choice in how you view it. I am not always in control of what's going on in my life, but I am in control of my thoughts!
A few weeks ago I received the news that my current job will end in a month's time. My first knee-jerk reaction was to go to a place of total fear and complete panic. My ego immediately started telling me "scary stories" about all the bad things that will happen. I forced myself to stop and take a few deep breaths to calm down. I woke up the next morning and it hit me: it's my choice how I think about this event, I am not at the mercy of my ego! So I made a conscious decision to look at this as a huge opportunity, not a tragedy, and immediately felt the positive shift in my emotions as well.

Once I made the decision to view this coming change as a positive thing, a miracle occurred. By letting go of my fear, I was able to still the ego voice and create a space of quiet. This allowed me to be able to "hear" what my inner guide was telling me. I realized that I know exactly why that job is ending. I am supposed to be doing something else! For a while now I've been "hearing" that I am supposed to be writing a book, and I've come up with a million reasons why I can't. I am quite certain that this period without work is actually an incredible gift, of time to do what I am supposed to do. To fulfill my destiny, bringing light and love to the world through my writing.  I'm looking at this as an opportunity to begin a whole new chapter of my life, to spread my wings and fly! In addition, instead of being panicked about loss of income, I am choosing to see this as an opportunity for the next project that comes in to offer me more money, now that I'm no longer locked into the old position and salary.

This whole situation has forced me to walk my talk. It's easy to "have faith" that you are in the flow of Spirit, and that things are unfolding exactly as they should for your highest good and greatest benefit, when things are going well. It gets a little tougher when your 5 earthly senses are telling you that things are not going well, not happening the way you think that they should. That's real faith, continuing to trust, to believe, even when there is no tangible reason to. I know in my heart that this is why I was guided to Hawaii. None of these things would have/could have happened if I had stayed in my comfort zone in LA. I made a leap of faith in moving here, now I am being asked to do it again, to follow my heart, to share my light with others, in a BIG way. So I'm GOING FOR IT! I am trusting my higher self/inner guide, and I am leaping off this cliff. From the outside, for a little while it may look like I am falling, but I know that I am merely learning to use my wings.....and getting ready to soar!

Much love and light to you all.

Taking Ownership of Your Life

"There comes a time in every life when you have to acknowledge areas where you keep having the same problems, such as the same recurring issue in every romantic relationship, or every job situation, etc. You have to be honest and look at the common denominator in each situation, which is YOU. Instead of it always seeing it as "their fault", you have to get rid of the victim mentality and own it, so you can fix it, once and for all. Only when you start taking responsibility for your life can you truly move on and make a new beginning, leaving the past behind."

I posted this original quote not too long ago on Facebook, and couldn't believe the overwhelming response to it. Evidently it really resonated with many people. We all realize that we tend to repeat self-sabotaging behaviors, and usually can see it clearly in other people's lives. Why is it so hard to see the patterns in our own life? I think the ego is very invested in keeping us believing that we are helpless victims, that things are constantly being done to us that we are powerless to stop. The truth is that WE are the creators of our lives, co-creating with the Universe, with our every thought, word and deed.

Most of the time we're pretty much on "auto-pilot", constantly retracing old patterns in our thinking. Our thoughts then create our actions, and our actions create our reality. We have to rise up high enough to see what those patterns are in order to change them. If you have a repetitive thought that you are not good enough, or don't deserve something, this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and creates the reality you will experience. We have to become the one observing our thoughts, and then we become the one with the power to change them where necessary. We can observe the negative thought and decide to put it back on the conveyor belt and choose a positive one instead. We are constantly making choices in our lives, and the things that happen are a direct result of those choices. If there is the appearance that someone else is doing something to you, hurting you etc, realize that you have made a choice that has put you in this position, and now you can make a different choice. You are not a victim, YOU have the power!

It's a hard thing to do, to take an honest look at your life and see where you repeatedly make the same bad choice. The important thing to remember is that this is what you came here to do; to learn, and learning requires making mistakes. So be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself for making the same mistake, possibly several times. At least you've gotten it now, and you can move on. And that's a very positive thought!

Love and light.

Connecting To Source

Last Saturday I drove over to Kailua, one of the prettiest areas of Oahu to have breakfast with a friend. Afterwards I took the coast road home and stopped at one of my favorite places, Waimanalo beach to get a little "ocean therapy". The local people believe that getting into the ocean on a regular basis is essential, as it provides cleansing of the world's negative energies, as well as blesses and energizes you. The Polynesian way of life includes time in the water, every day. I need little convincing as I love spending time on any beach, so when in Rome....

It was a gorgeous October day here in Hawaii and I almost had the entire beach to myself. The water was so beautiful, so many different shades of turquoise and cobalt blue, the white sand soft and inviting. I went out and played, really played in the waves. I played with them, jumping up, then diving under, the whole time giggling with delight like a child. It was so wonderful, and a reminder of why I moved here, why I love it so much. Afterwards I laid in the sun, tired but happy. It was warm but not too hot, and the shadows from the overhanging trees danced on my face as fluffy, white heart-shaped clouds drifted overhead. Truly Paradise. I felt so relaxed and at peace, so happy and carefree.

I've always felt closer to God/Spirit/The Source when I'm out in nature. I feel more myself. I think that's because when you are surrounded with natural beauty, you are connecting with the deepest, most authentic part of yourself. It's a connection with part that's pure energy, the life-force of this world, and of all natural beings in it, whether plant, animal, or mineral. When surrounded by nature, you are in your element, reminded of who you are, a tiny integral part of the grand design of the Universe. "We are each a cell in God's body." My friend Keoni gave me that quote, and I love it as it precisely describes how I have come to think of myself and the connection between us all. I truly feel a part of that greater whole when I am out in the grandeur and beauty of nature.

Lying on the beach that day I felt safe, loved, and cared for like a small child who can nap knowing watchful parents are close by. I felt as if all was right with my world. This is what the beach does for me, restores my balance, clears the worries and anxieties of modern life from my mind. I am learning how much the Polynesian culture has to teach the modern world. Clearly they are right about spending time in the ocean. So I'm putting away the computer and heading to the beach!

Love and light to all.

The Care and Feeding of Your Soul

We all know, in theory at least, how important it is to eat right, to exercise, and to take good care of "yourself". (I put that word in quotes because in this physical world, we think of "ourself" as our body.) But just as important as feeding and caring for your body is the idea that we should feed and care for our soul, for this is the real "self". What does this mean though, to "feed" your soul? The answer is different for every person, I can only tell you what works for me. Spending time in nature has always been soul-nourishing for me, preferably being quiet and reflective. When I was a child away at summer camp in the Texas hill-country, or the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, I felt more in the presence of "God" than in any church on Sunday morning. In the midst of all that natural magnificence I could not question the existence of a Supreme Being/Power, or my connection to it.

Reading books that stimulate my thought processes regarding my own spiritual growth, and my place in the Universe is also very important to me. Finding friends who are on the same path to discuss our discoveries and beliefs is essential, as hearing their experiences and viewpoints often stimulate my own soul-and-mind expansion. Writing this blog has become a weekly "exercise" session for my soul, strengthening my beliefs and my ability to express them to myself clearly. (It's lovely that others, all over the globe are reading my words, and getting something from them, but ultimately I am pouring my soul out on this "paper" for myself to see and understand on a deep level.) But more than anything, meditation has become my "gateway" into the world of Spirit. This daily practice allows me to find that still place inside myself, where my true "self" resides, and to tap into that deep connection to All-That-Is. This is the "food" that keeps my soul in control of my daily thoughts and my actions and keeps me "in the flow", connected with the fear-less part of me that is pure love and light.

Now I live in Hawaii, and like my 7 years spent previously in Santa Fe, I am discovering what a huge community of like-minded people there are here! So many are drawn here, for the natural beauty of course, but also for the deeper spiritual connection to Source that occurs naturally in such a place. In addition, so many of the local people are very rooted in the spirituality of their native culture. I am so happy to be finding so many possibilities to expand my growth; classes, channeling events, talks given on ancient Hawaiian spirituality by "kupuna" or elders. And so many beautiful souls to have these deeper conversations with! I love that I have so many friends here who, when we get together for dinner or coffee, the talk turns to sharing our most recent learnings and discoveries about ourselves. It is truly such a nurturing environment for my soul to grow and expand in, I feel so blessed, and know that moving here at this particular time in my life, was the quite possibly the best thing I have ever done for my true "self", my soul.

I have spent much of my life pursuing what I can see now has been a "spiritual path." I think more and more people around the world are currently "waking up", realizing that their soul is HUNGRY!! I think that's why people in all over the world, but especially Russia, Estonia, and China are reading my blog. We are a world community of souls now, we are now connected by technology the way we are connected as ONE, spiritually. It's 2012, governments are being overthrown, violence in the streets, things are getting crazy. We are a global-community now, these events create a ripple-effect that reach us all, no matter where you live. It's clear that more and more people are coming to understand that the world as we know it is broken, and only by feeding our souls will we be able to fix it.

Last night I had the good fortune to attend a dual-channeling event, to hear the words and enlightenment shared by the "Light Counsel" and "The One", light beings from far outside our Universe who are watching our growth from afar. They gave us some beautiful words and ideas, but the most important advice was this: Our world is in crisis, right now. No one is coming to save the day, it's up to US. And that the most important thing you can do, as an individual to prepare for this, and to help with this is to FEED YOUR SOUL....whatever that means to YOU. If you are not feeding your soul daily, it's time to start. If you are already doing this, it's time to do it more. Just as you set aside time for physical exercise, it's time to go within. For only by going within can we return to love.

Peace, love and light to all.
Namaste'

Becoming the Eye of the Storm

Last week I wrote about my current stage of emotional and spiritual growth, recognizing that I had allowed someone else's fearful thinking to drag me into an unloving state of mind, and about the challenges of staying grounded and rooted in love when others around us are choosing fear. In order to learn to hold yourself open in love, no matter what anyone else says or does, you must look within and see where it is that you "hit the wall". What causes you to close up and shut down? Where is your boundary that once crossed, causes you to forget love and choose fear, disguised as guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, or bitterness? This is your wall, and your wall protects your wounds, places you've been hurt and have come to believe something negative about yourself. We've all had events in our lives, usually in childhood, that taught us to tell ourselves false stories about our worthlessness, our imperfection, our unlovable-ness.

When someone else points out my flaws or mistakes, for instance, it is my own deep belief that I am "not good enough" that causes me to react, and to feel miserable. This kind of reaction is an indicator that on some level I believe these things to be true about myself. This is the wound that must be found, and healed within me, with self-love and forgiveness. Once this is accomplished, I will be able to stand strong and not be sucked into the delusion they are creating. I can stand strong because I know the truth about myself. I am a beautiful being of light and love. I am loving, I am lovable, I AM love! Once I understand this I can see that yes, I am human, I do have flaws, but this doesn't make me a "bad" person, or worthless, or unlovable. The reason we get sucked into other people's fearful delusions is that we are taking whatever is going on personally, when it's not really about us at all.

Healing these old wounds requires going back to the root, and changing the mindset you established in the past. Then you can stand strong when the storm blows in, seeing clearly that what is going on is about someone else acting out of fear. You'll be able to see that it is their own deep-seated fears and insecurities causing them to act out. It's much easier to continue to love them, when you know that what is happening has nothing to do with you.  If you are able to remain calm, loving and unaffected, you actually become a mirror for the person who is temporarily fear-crazed. By not reacting you provide them an opportunity to witness their own self-defeating behavior. This is the best way to help them return to "sanity", a state of love. You don't need to point out their fearful behavior, this only adds fuel to the fire by making them defensive. They will "get it" much faster if you remain in love and allow them to wake up on their own.

Last weekend as I reflected back over the previous week, I realized that I had allowed myself to be dragged into someone else's fear-storm. I had allowed their fearful thinking to activate my old fears and false beliefs about myself, and it was a really rough week as a result. So my last blog post was written about this, and helped me to realize what was happening. I went into the new week after the Labor Day holiday determined to hold my ground if similar events transpired, set on not getting swept up in the emotional tides of others. (This can definitely be a challenge, especially when it's coming from someone close to you like a lover, a best friend, or a boss.) Sure enough, the moment came when the other person's fear-storm started to wind up, but I was able to see it coming and to say to myself "This is not about me!" I didn't allow my ego to start with it's fearful thinking, I was able to stay in a place of love and acceptance, and my week was busy but calm and peaceful. I was able to watch the other person take their ride on their emotional roller coaster, without having to go along. Miraculously, without me feeding my own fearful energy into it, the storm passed quickly, and without reaching it's peak. It's very hard for someone to stay on the attack when you don't react. As it says in A Course In Miracles: "It is in our defenselessness that our power lies." My focus on loving and accepting myself gave me the strength to stay in love and to not join them in their fearful delusion. What a contrast to the week before! It felt like such a victory, and a great reminder that in the struggle between love and fear, love always wins!

Sending you much light and love. May you too find the peace and serenity of becoming the eye of the storm.

Moving Towards the Light

By getting out of my comfort zone in the past 8 months, I have opened myself up to many incredible experiences and received many teachings. I feel as though I have made more progress on my spiritual journey in this time than in many previous years. I feel like I am on the path to becoming my most authentic self, to matching my thoughts and actions with the light-and-love-filled being on the inside. In my mind, this is the ultimate goal of this particular lifetime.

I have reached a point in my growth where I consciously feel tremendous love for everyone. I've reconnected with the essence of my soul that feels only love and joy. I've begun to see and focus on the light that is within myself, and the result is that I'm starting to see the light in everything and everyone. When seen in this way, the world becomes a beautiful place. Instead of being absorbed by self-centered thoughts, I am working on focusing light and love outward. I'm practicing walking or driving down the street, blessing and sending light to each person I pass. The result of this exercise is that I become that much happier, as the light boomerangs back to me, I feel a kind of "love-high".

The challenge is to remain in this state when others close their hearts and choose fear. These situations "push my buttons", causing me to react in kind. This is where I hit the wall, and what I am working on now, trying to not get dragged into the fearful thinking. I am trying to become more aware, to remain in love when others are acting crazy, or lashing out at me, or pushing me away. I am learning through direct experience that when I manage to keep my heart open, to not judge someone's behavior, and to keep pouring love on them, miracles happen! A Course In Miracles says that when one person in a relationship is having "fear-induced hallucinations", the other must stay "sane", stay in love, and to refuse to get dragged along. By doing this you are holding a space for that person to return to, when the hallucination has passed. You are holding the higher vibration, making it virtually impossible for the other person to stay in that fearful state.

This is the ultimate challenge for a light-worker, I think, to stay in that place of love no matter what is going on around you. Something I definitely need more practice in doing, but I think that's exactly what the purpose of living is; loving and learning!

Love and light to you.