Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Quest for Perfection

I realized recently that I've lived most of my life under the impression that I must be perfect in order to be lovable, and loved. I know now that I picked up this idea in childhood, due to some misinterpreted events, and I think it's actually a very common theme for many people. Children are by nature egocentric beings, believing that everything that happens around them is about them and because of them. Many of us made similar "decisions" about ourselves, and unknowingly have lived the balance of our lives believing this to be true, on some deep subconscious level. I think most people feel some degree of imperfection, or "not enough" in some way. And we worry that if people saw who we truly are, no one would ever, could ever possibly love us.

As a result, we spend a tremendous amount of time and effort chasing perfection (especially women), some idealized version of what we perceive perfection to be. We hold ourselves up to standards that are essentially impossible to achieve, setting ourselves up for certain failure. In relationships it manifests as trying too hard, hiding who we truly are, and defensiveness when someone points out something we could do better. We tell ourselves that if anyone ever saw how imperfect we really are they would leave us, then we set it up so that's exactly what happens! It's time to stop the madness.

I've decided to stop trying to be perfect. I've decided to love myself exactly as I am. In the words of Dr. Suess; "Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind!" People who truly love you will love you in spite of, and in some cases, because of your flaws. I've decided to focus on being the best, most authentic version of ME as possible, and to let "perfection" go. What a relief! The truth is, we are all angelic beings of light who have incarnated in human bodies, in order to have the human experience. As such we are just as we are meant to be. We are imperfect by design, which makes us perfectly flawed, perfectly human. And that's good enough for me!

Much love and light.

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