12/21/12 Gateway to Ascension

Thanks to media hype, I think everyone is very aware that according to the ancient Mayans, the world as we know it is ending tomorrow. Some people have chosen to take that literally, but many spiritual beings believe that the prophecy likely refers to a major shift in consciousness, away from fear and back to our natural state of love. As 12/21/12 draws near, there is talk of "ascension", a term that has many definitions, depending on who you ask. One on-line article I read details an "influx of supreme energy" that began on 12/12/12 and will become stronger and more intense on 12/21, lasting through the end of the year. It states that although to some the world may still appear to be unchanged tomorrow, it is not. Ascension is defined as "the shift in the Earth’s vibrational frequency from the third dimension to the fifth dimension of living. The ascension process is similar to a change from analog to digital, from monochrome to color. It is a return to the Crystalline Age. As dimensional grids make a shift, the natural laws that govern time and space will apparently change....When you are living in the third dimension, you are mostly concerned with what is going on in the physical or material plane. However, living in the fifth dimension aligns you with a consciousness that is based on love and light, a non-dual reality and the surrender of your higher spiritual self. Very importantly, it also allows you to access previously “untapped” capabilities, enabling you to live in a more evolved bio-energetic state."

Something is definitely transpiring. I am seeing it all around  me, in the attitudes and actions of others as well as myself. Some people are becoming more calm, more loving, more centered and balanced. Others are becoming very agitated, anxious, even angry, without knowing why. Random acts of violence are occurring, more extreme and senseless than ever as we approach this portal, as in the Sandy Hook school shooting. Those still vibrating at lower, negative frequencies are feeling the free-floating angst, and are acting out. I think all humans are experiencing the "pull" of this on-coming wave of energy in some way, much like standing in shallow water at the beach and feeling the power of the ocean trying to drag you out to the depths with it. I believe the appropriate response to the huge tidal surge of energy currently happening is to go still, relax, and allow it to take you home. I think we are being lifted higher, so that our perspective will allow us to see the fearful illusions of this "third dimensional" world, and we'll be able to see that we are actually held safe in love, and our fears are ego-based lies. 

I'm planning to spend this evening with like-minded beings cleansing in the ocean, and tomorrow in meditation. We are being transformed to higher versions of ourselves. Our focus is being redirected to our spirit and away from the material world. Relax, trust, surrender. Allow the shift to happen, you are being "reset" to love. It is the dawning of a new age. All is well. All is unfolding exactly as it should.

Love and light to all.
Namaste'

 

Getting Into the Holiday SPIRIT

I love the Christmas holiday season. I love the beautiful lights, the festive music, and feeling the "holiday spirit". This phrase means different things to different people, and I've been thinking about what it means to me. I love this season because it is a time of joy, mystery and wonder. I don't consider myself religious, but I do think the story of the birth of the baby Jesus is a wondrous one; people being mysteriously drawn to a stable on a cold, starry night in Bethlehem. Kings and wise men led by angels and a shining star to bring gifts of incredible value, and to kneel down in reverence before a baby born to a humble family in a manger.

Then there's Santa Claus, who is definitely mysterious. He hides out at the North Pole 364 days a year with elves, has some way of knowing if you've been naughty or nice, and uses magic to make his reindeer fly, and to get into your house while you're sleeping!  Santa loves the children of the world so much he has devoted his life to making their wishes come true on Christmas Day.

The holidays are traditionally a time of peace and harmony, and the feeling that all is right with the world. It's the time of year when our thoughts turn to love and giving. We become "heart-centered" beings, instead of "ego-centered", and we devote ourselves like Santa, to bringing joy to those we love, and to helping those less fortunate than ourselves. It's a wonderful yearly reminder to "reset" our thoughts to love, especially needed in light of recent events in the world.

I love the innocence of this season, the idea that anything is possible, if you only believe. For me the true meaning of "holiday spirit" is that magic and miracles really do exist. This time of year is a time to dream, and to believe that those dreams, no matter how large, really can come true.

Wishing you and yours a wondrous, joyful, love-filled holiday season!

Opening to Abundance

The Universal Law of Attraction says that whatever we put out via our thoughts and actions we will receive back, multiplied. Our thoughts and actions are based on our belief-system, which in most cases was formed while we were growing up. These beliefs are made up of things we were told, or that we witnessed or experienced, and then made decisions about. This belief system became "The Truth About How the World Works According to Me", and we have been living our lives ever since accordingly, usually without even being conscious of it.

I consider myself to be a pretty positive person, and fairly self-aware. But this past year of financial insecurity and instability (that I volunteered for) has brought to light some deep-seated, not-so-positive beliefs about money. So I've spent some time thinking about where these ideas originated, and I realize that as a child I made some flawed assumptions about what I was seeing around me. My father did a great job of making and handling the  money in our family, and my mother was mainly interested in spending it. He made sure that she always had what she wanted, and out of love didn't bother her with the stress of how much we had, or how he managed to make it happen. Looking back I can see that with my child's mind I misinterpreted this as an unspoken message that "women can't be trusted with money" or "women aren't smart enough to handle money." I have a vivid memory of my dad sitting me down at about age 17 and telling me that if I wanted to continue to live in the style to which I was accustomed (comfortable upper-middle class), I would need to become a "professional", meaning a doctor, lawyer, etc, and I would need to marry the same. I knew in my heart of hearts that I was not cut out for those kinds of professions, so I made an unconscious decision "OK, I'll never have a lot of money" based on that conversation. (And of course, this became a self-fulfilling prophesy!)

My mom, on the other hand was very much a true "Southern Belle" who went from living with her own father who spoiled her, to living with mine. The belief system I inherited from her was the idea that "there will always be a man to take care of you", and "making and managing money is the man's job". So I think on some deep subconscious level I've been waiting for a man to come along and take care of me financially, because I believed that I wasn't capable of doing it myself. On top of all of this, somewhere along the line I also decided that "wanting money and material things isn't spiritual." The combination of these messages and decisions I made in those early years have influenced the way I think and have lived my life ever since. I have made statements like; "I'll probably never own my own home" (so, of course I haven't), "I'll probably have to work all my life", and "Money isn't that important to me." I've thought many times "as long as I make enough money to just cover my bills, I'm OK", and of course, this is exactly what the Universe has given me. No surprise, all of my adult life despite working hard and climbing several corporate ladders, I have made just enough to pay my bills, and not a penny more. I have been totally limiting myself with my own limited thinking! Even though I was trying consciously to think thoughts of abundance, my subconscious belief system and my resulting actions were completely undermining any progress I might have made.

I believe that we come into this life with a divine purpose, maybe even several. When we are "on our path", meaning making decisions and taking actions aligned with accomplishing this divine plan, our lives are easier, things seem to unfold more smoothly. Doors fly open, red carpets roll out, divine synchronicities occur. (Oprah calls this "being in the flow of Spirit". I love that image!) Conversely, when we stray from our path, things get harder, we get bogged down, and find that every door seems firmly closed, no matter how long or hard we knock. I believe this is the Universe's way of getting us back on track, back on our path to our ultimate destiny. I think that  the financial struggles of this past year were meant to get me back on my path, and to hold up a mirror for me to see how self-sabotaging my thoughts and actions have been. The gift of this past year is that I've been so uncomfortable that I've been forced to take a long, hard look at why I was choosing to live my life this way.

Now that I recognize those old-worn out beliefs and understand where they originated, I can make new decisions based on what I know as an adult to be true. I have decided that I am tired of struggling financially. I am weary of constantly worrying about money. "Just able to pay my bills" is not good enough any more. I can decide that I deserve to have whatever I want, and that I am smart enough to earn it and handle it myself! I know I can manage money and manage it well, after all, I've been "managing" to get by on a small amount successfully for a very long time!  I believe that following my passion and fulfilling my divine purpose in the world is the surest way to achieve these things. I have been playing small, and as Marianne Williamson says "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking....We are all meant to shine."

It's time to reclaim my power, it's time to shine. I believe that the Universe is a playground designed for us to enjoy, and to be happy. So I am choosing to step into the life the Universe wants me to have, no more holding myself back!

Deciding to Fly

"Life is not about what happens to you. It's about how you handle it."

I'm not sure who said this, but I am sure that it's true. You do not always have a choice in what life throws at you, but you do have a choice in how you view it. I am not always in control of what's going on in my life, but I am in control of my thoughts!
A few weeks ago I received the news that my current job will end in a month's time. My first knee-jerk reaction was to go to a place of total fear and complete panic. My ego immediately started telling me "scary stories" about all the bad things that will happen. I forced myself to stop and take a few deep breaths to calm down. I woke up the next morning and it hit me: it's my choice how I think about this event, I am not at the mercy of my ego! So I made a conscious decision to look at this as a huge opportunity, not a tragedy, and immediately felt the positive shift in my emotions as well.

Once I made the decision to view this coming change as a positive thing, a miracle occurred. By letting go of my fear, I was able to still the ego voice and create a space of quiet. This allowed me to be able to "hear" what my inner guide was telling me. I realized that I know exactly why that job is ending. I am supposed to be doing something else! For a while now I've been "hearing" that I am supposed to be writing a book, and I've come up with a million reasons why I can't. I am quite certain that this period without work is actually an incredible gift, of time to do what I am supposed to do. To fulfill my destiny, bringing light and love to the world through my writing.  I'm looking at this as an opportunity to begin a whole new chapter of my life, to spread my wings and fly! In addition, instead of being panicked about loss of income, I am choosing to see this as an opportunity for the next project that comes in to offer me more money, now that I'm no longer locked into the old position and salary.

This whole situation has forced me to walk my talk. It's easy to "have faith" that you are in the flow of Spirit, and that things are unfolding exactly as they should for your highest good and greatest benefit, when things are going well. It gets a little tougher when your 5 earthly senses are telling you that things are not going well, not happening the way you think that they should. That's real faith, continuing to trust, to believe, even when there is no tangible reason to. I know in my heart that this is why I was guided to Hawaii. None of these things would have/could have happened if I had stayed in my comfort zone in LA. I made a leap of faith in moving here, now I am being asked to do it again, to follow my heart, to share my light with others, in a BIG way. So I'm GOING FOR IT! I am trusting my higher self/inner guide, and I am leaping off this cliff. From the outside, for a little while it may look like I am falling, but I know that I am merely learning to use my wings.....and getting ready to soar!

Much love and light to you all.

Taking Ownership of Your Life

"There comes a time in every life when you have to acknowledge areas where you keep having the same problems, such as the same recurring issue in every romantic relationship, or every job situation, etc. You have to be honest and look at the common denominator in each situation, which is YOU. Instead of it always seeing it as "their fault", you have to get rid of the victim mentality and own it, so you can fix it, once and for all. Only when you start taking responsibility for your life can you truly move on and make a new beginning, leaving the past behind."

I posted this original quote not too long ago on Facebook, and couldn't believe the overwhelming response to it. Evidently it really resonated with many people. We all realize that we tend to repeat self-sabotaging behaviors, and usually can see it clearly in other people's lives. Why is it so hard to see the patterns in our own life? I think the ego is very invested in keeping us believing that we are helpless victims, that things are constantly being done to us that we are powerless to stop. The truth is that WE are the creators of our lives, co-creating with the Universe, with our every thought, word and deed.

Most of the time we're pretty much on "auto-pilot", constantly retracing old patterns in our thinking. Our thoughts then create our actions, and our actions create our reality. We have to rise up high enough to see what those patterns are in order to change them. If you have a repetitive thought that you are not good enough, or don't deserve something, this will become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and creates the reality you will experience. We have to become the one observing our thoughts, and then we become the one with the power to change them where necessary. We can observe the negative thought and decide to put it back on the conveyor belt and choose a positive one instead. We are constantly making choices in our lives, and the things that happen are a direct result of those choices. If there is the appearance that someone else is doing something to you, hurting you etc, realize that you have made a choice that has put you in this position, and now you can make a different choice. You are not a victim, YOU have the power!

It's a hard thing to do, to take an honest look at your life and see where you repeatedly make the same bad choice. The important thing to remember is that this is what you came here to do; to learn, and learning requires making mistakes. So be gentle with yourself, forgive yourself for making the same mistake, possibly several times. At least you've gotten it now, and you can move on. And that's a very positive thought!

Love and light.

Connecting To Source

Last Saturday I drove over to Kailua, one of the prettiest areas of Oahu to have breakfast with a friend. Afterwards I took the coast road home and stopped at one of my favorite places, Waimanalo beach to get a little "ocean therapy". The local people believe that getting into the ocean on a regular basis is essential, as it provides cleansing of the world's negative energies, as well as blesses and energizes you. The Polynesian way of life includes time in the water, every day. I need little convincing as I love spending time on any beach, so when in Rome....

It was a gorgeous October day here in Hawaii and I almost had the entire beach to myself. The water was so beautiful, so many different shades of turquoise and cobalt blue, the white sand soft and inviting. I went out and played, really played in the waves. I played with them, jumping up, then diving under, the whole time giggling with delight like a child. It was so wonderful, and a reminder of why I moved here, why I love it so much. Afterwards I laid in the sun, tired but happy. It was warm but not too hot, and the shadows from the overhanging trees danced on my face as fluffy, white heart-shaped clouds drifted overhead. Truly Paradise. I felt so relaxed and at peace, so happy and carefree.

I've always felt closer to God/Spirit/The Source when I'm out in nature. I feel more myself. I think that's because when you are surrounded with natural beauty, you are connecting with the deepest, most authentic part of yourself. It's a connection with part that's pure energy, the life-force of this world, and of all natural beings in it, whether plant, animal, or mineral. When surrounded by nature, you are in your element, reminded of who you are, a tiny integral part of the grand design of the Universe. "We are each a cell in God's body." My friend Keoni gave me that quote, and I love it as it precisely describes how I have come to think of myself and the connection between us all. I truly feel a part of that greater whole when I am out in the grandeur and beauty of nature.

Lying on the beach that day I felt safe, loved, and cared for like a small child who can nap knowing watchful parents are close by. I felt as if all was right with my world. This is what the beach does for me, restores my balance, clears the worries and anxieties of modern life from my mind. I am learning how much the Polynesian culture has to teach the modern world. Clearly they are right about spending time in the ocean. So I'm putting away the computer and heading to the beach!

Love and light to all.

The Care and Feeding of Your Soul

We all know, in theory at least, how important it is to eat right, to exercise, and to take good care of "yourself". (I put that word in quotes because in this physical world, we think of "ourself" as our body.) But just as important as feeding and caring for your body is the idea that we should feed and care for our soul, for this is the real "self". What does this mean though, to "feed" your soul? The answer is different for every person, I can only tell you what works for me. Spending time in nature has always been soul-nourishing for me, preferably being quiet and reflective. When I was a child away at summer camp in the Texas hill-country, or the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, I felt more in the presence of "God" than in any church on Sunday morning. In the midst of all that natural magnificence I could not question the existence of a Supreme Being/Power, or my connection to it.

Reading books that stimulate my thought processes regarding my own spiritual growth, and my place in the Universe is also very important to me. Finding friends who are on the same path to discuss our discoveries and beliefs is essential, as hearing their experiences and viewpoints often stimulate my own soul-and-mind expansion. Writing this blog has become a weekly "exercise" session for my soul, strengthening my beliefs and my ability to express them to myself clearly. (It's lovely that others, all over the globe are reading my words, and getting something from them, but ultimately I am pouring my soul out on this "paper" for myself to see and understand on a deep level.) But more than anything, meditation has become my "gateway" into the world of Spirit. This daily practice allows me to find that still place inside myself, where my true "self" resides, and to tap into that deep connection to All-That-Is. This is the "food" that keeps my soul in control of my daily thoughts and my actions and keeps me "in the flow", connected with the fear-less part of me that is pure love and light.

Now I live in Hawaii, and like my 7 years spent previously in Santa Fe, I am discovering what a huge community of like-minded people there are here! So many are drawn here, for the natural beauty of course, but also for the deeper spiritual connection to Source that occurs naturally in such a place. In addition, so many of the local people are very rooted in the spirituality of their native culture. I am so happy to be finding so many possibilities to expand my growth; classes, channeling events, talks given on ancient Hawaiian spirituality by "kupuna" or elders. And so many beautiful souls to have these deeper conversations with! I love that I have so many friends here who, when we get together for dinner or coffee, the talk turns to sharing our most recent learnings and discoveries about ourselves. It is truly such a nurturing environment for my soul to grow and expand in, I feel so blessed, and know that moving here at this particular time in my life, was the quite possibly the best thing I have ever done for my true "self", my soul.

I have spent much of my life pursuing what I can see now has been a "spiritual path." I think more and more people around the world are currently "waking up", realizing that their soul is HUNGRY!! I think that's why people in all over the world, but especially Russia, Estonia, and China are reading my blog. We are a world community of souls now, we are now connected by technology the way we are connected as ONE, spiritually. It's 2012, governments are being overthrown, violence in the streets, things are getting crazy. We are a global-community now, these events create a ripple-effect that reach us all, no matter where you live. It's clear that more and more people are coming to understand that the world as we know it is broken, and only by feeding our souls will we be able to fix it.

Last night I had the good fortune to attend a dual-channeling event, to hear the words and enlightenment shared by the "Light Counsel" and "The One", light beings from far outside our Universe who are watching our growth from afar. They gave us some beautiful words and ideas, but the most important advice was this: Our world is in crisis, right now. No one is coming to save the day, it's up to US. And that the most important thing you can do, as an individual to prepare for this, and to help with this is to FEED YOUR SOUL....whatever that means to YOU. If you are not feeding your soul daily, it's time to start. If you are already doing this, it's time to do it more. Just as you set aside time for physical exercise, it's time to go within. For only by going within can we return to love.

Peace, love and light to all.
Namaste'

Becoming the Eye of the Storm

Last week I wrote about my current stage of emotional and spiritual growth, recognizing that I had allowed someone else's fearful thinking to drag me into an unloving state of mind, and about the challenges of staying grounded and rooted in love when others around us are choosing fear. In order to learn to hold yourself open in love, no matter what anyone else says or does, you must look within and see where it is that you "hit the wall". What causes you to close up and shut down? Where is your boundary that once crossed, causes you to forget love and choose fear, disguised as guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, or bitterness? This is your wall, and your wall protects your wounds, places you've been hurt and have come to believe something negative about yourself. We've all had events in our lives, usually in childhood, that taught us to tell ourselves false stories about our worthlessness, our imperfection, our unlovable-ness.

When someone else points out my flaws or mistakes, for instance, it is my own deep belief that I am "not good enough" that causes me to react, and to feel miserable. This kind of reaction is an indicator that on some level I believe these things to be true about myself. This is the wound that must be found, and healed within me, with self-love and forgiveness. Once this is accomplished, I will be able to stand strong and not be sucked into the delusion they are creating. I can stand strong because I know the truth about myself. I am a beautiful being of light and love. I am loving, I am lovable, I AM love! Once I understand this I can see that yes, I am human, I do have flaws, but this doesn't make me a "bad" person, or worthless, or unlovable. The reason we get sucked into other people's fearful delusions is that we are taking whatever is going on personally, when it's not really about us at all.

Healing these old wounds requires going back to the root, and changing the mindset you established in the past. Then you can stand strong when the storm blows in, seeing clearly that what is going on is about someone else acting out of fear. You'll be able to see that it is their own deep-seated fears and insecurities causing them to act out. It's much easier to continue to love them, when you know that what is happening has nothing to do with you.  If you are able to remain calm, loving and unaffected, you actually become a mirror for the person who is temporarily fear-crazed. By not reacting you provide them an opportunity to witness their own self-defeating behavior. This is the best way to help them return to "sanity", a state of love. You don't need to point out their fearful behavior, this only adds fuel to the fire by making them defensive. They will "get it" much faster if you remain in love and allow them to wake up on their own.

Last weekend as I reflected back over the previous week, I realized that I had allowed myself to be dragged into someone else's fear-storm. I had allowed their fearful thinking to activate my old fears and false beliefs about myself, and it was a really rough week as a result. So my last blog post was written about this, and helped me to realize what was happening. I went into the new week after the Labor Day holiday determined to hold my ground if similar events transpired, set on not getting swept up in the emotional tides of others. (This can definitely be a challenge, especially when it's coming from someone close to you like a lover, a best friend, or a boss.) Sure enough, the moment came when the other person's fear-storm started to wind up, but I was able to see it coming and to say to myself "This is not about me!" I didn't allow my ego to start with it's fearful thinking, I was able to stay in a place of love and acceptance, and my week was busy but calm and peaceful. I was able to watch the other person take their ride on their emotional roller coaster, without having to go along. Miraculously, without me feeding my own fearful energy into it, the storm passed quickly, and without reaching it's peak. It's very hard for someone to stay on the attack when you don't react. As it says in A Course In Miracles: "It is in our defenselessness that our power lies." My focus on loving and accepting myself gave me the strength to stay in love and to not join them in their fearful delusion. What a contrast to the week before! It felt like such a victory, and a great reminder that in the struggle between love and fear, love always wins!

Sending you much light and love. May you too find the peace and serenity of becoming the eye of the storm.

Moving Towards the Light

By getting out of my comfort zone in the past 8 months, I have opened myself up to many incredible experiences and received many teachings. I feel as though I have made more progress on my spiritual journey in this time than in many previous years. I feel like I am on the path to becoming my most authentic self, to matching my thoughts and actions with the light-and-love-filled being on the inside. In my mind, this is the ultimate goal of this particular lifetime.

I have reached a point in my growth where I consciously feel tremendous love for everyone. I've reconnected with the essence of my soul that feels only love and joy. I've begun to see and focus on the light that is within myself, and the result is that I'm starting to see the light in everything and everyone. When seen in this way, the world becomes a beautiful place. Instead of being absorbed by self-centered thoughts, I am working on focusing light and love outward. I'm practicing walking or driving down the street, blessing and sending light to each person I pass. The result of this exercise is that I become that much happier, as the light boomerangs back to me, I feel a kind of "love-high".

The challenge is to remain in this state when others close their hearts and choose fear. These situations "push my buttons", causing me to react in kind. This is where I hit the wall, and what I am working on now, trying to not get dragged into the fearful thinking. I am trying to become more aware, to remain in love when others are acting crazy, or lashing out at me, or pushing me away. I am learning through direct experience that when I manage to keep my heart open, to not judge someone's behavior, and to keep pouring love on them, miracles happen! A Course In Miracles says that when one person in a relationship is having "fear-induced hallucinations", the other must stay "sane", stay in love, and to refuse to get dragged along. By doing this you are holding a space for that person to return to, when the hallucination has passed. You are holding the higher vibration, making it virtually impossible for the other person to stay in that fearful state.

This is the ultimate challenge for a light-worker, I think, to stay in that place of love no matter what is going on around you. Something I definitely need more practice in doing, but I think that's exactly what the purpose of living is; loving and learning!

Love and light to you.

My Dream of Lemuria

Through my life I have dreamt of other times, and other places, both while sleeping and awake. In my early 20's I began having occasional sleep-dreams that felt and seemed more like memories of previous lifetimes. These dreams were always much more vivid than my regular dreams, and also events occurred in normal, rational order, rather than the random-jump-cut-bizarre-happenings of my usual subconscious-downloading type dreams. The other common factor of these dreams is that I occupy other bodies than my current one. Last night I experienced one of those dreams, and I felt inspired on waking to write it down. It may seem like fiction now, but as it was happening it felt more real that where I am at this very moment.

My "Kumu" or teacher of Hawaiian spirituality says that there once was a continent in the Pacific Ocean called Lemuria. It existed at the same time as Atlantis, and they were both wiped out in the same natural disaster. She says that the Hawaiian Islands are all that is left of Lemuria, the tops of the mountains that sank beneath the sea. She believes (as do I) that many of us feel drawn to be here, the "heart chakra of the world" because we had lives in that place, long ago. Last night in my dream, I was again in that place, in a time long past. Here is what I "knew" about myself in this dream:

~My people were a race who came from the stars. We settled in a place that is known in your history books as the Garden of Eden, a lush, tropical paradise with green mountains and beautiful waterfalls. We were advanced spiritually and scientifically, building crystal towers and pyramids for living and meditation. We were very tall, with golden brown skin and hair, and slanted turquoise eyes. Swimming in the ocean daily was very important to us, for cleansing and restoring our powers. We had the ability to stay under water for long periods of time, and played with the dolphins, turtles and whales. We were able to communicate telepathically, with each other as well as with the spirits of the animals, plants and trees. We were also able to levitate, and to float through the air, using our minds. We were a gentle race of peace and love, there was no fear, no anger, no war. We were so love-filled that the animals were not fearful, and sometimes would decide to come and live with us, not as a pet, but as an equal, a friend and also a guide. A white tiger lived with me and my family, the same spirit that currently lives with me, as my dog in this lifetime. Healing techniques were performed with crystals, and this was my job in this place. We healed not just the body, but also the mind and heart, as they must be healed together. Healing was needed when the mind would begin to have fearful thoughts of separation and lack. We would treat this condition with the large crystals that we brought with us from the stars. There came a time of darkness, and then the continent vanished under the sea. Many of us chose to reincarnate in ancient Egypt, as that civilization was very advanced for its time. ~

Whether this is a memory of a previous life or merely a beautiful dream doesn't really matter to me. It's the underlying message that is important. I saw many people in this dream of Lemuria that I know in my current lifetime. I believe we are coming together now to use our deeply encoded spiritual knowledge from those times to help the world find love and peace. This dream is a reminder to me that we are so much more powerful than we realize and that what we are experiencing now is only a tiny part of our eternal soul's existence.

Sending you love and light, and sweet dreams of a peaceful world.

You are a Spiritual Warrior

You are reading this, felt drawn to read this because you are a miracle worker. You came here on a divine contract, to live a human life, to help the human race. You were sent to bring love and light to a darkening world. As Marianne Williamson writes: "You have a mission-to save the world through the power of love. The world needs healing desperately, like a bird with a broken wing. People know this, and millions have prayed. God heard us. He sent help. He sent you."

The energy of the world is becoming more intense, "thicker" as the Light Counsel puts it. Can you feel it? The tipping point has been reached. All the hoopla about 2012 is not just hoopla, it's truth. The time has come. The time is now. Like Neo in the Matrix, you are the One. Things are getting worse, but things are also getting better, because more people have woken up. More people understand now that the battle is on. And if you are reading this, you have been Called. You are a Spiritual Warrior. It's time to take up arms. It's time to fight fear with love. It can be done, see "Gandhi", see "Jesus".

The financial principles that our world is currently founded on are crumbling. Governments are being over-thrown. We stand on a precipice, and it is time to decide whether to jump and make a leap of faith, or to cling in fear to the falling rocks. We are the only species that systematically destroys our own habitat. People are starving, going without clean water, dying of AIDS, not because God wills it, but because we are allowing it. It's time for us to see that we are ONE, and if I allow these things to happen, I am allowing a piece of my own soul to be eaten away. If your children were threatened by these things, you would do anything in your power, fight anyone, beg, borrow, or steal to do what you needed to do. It's time for us to realize that they are ALL our children.

You are a being of light. You have woken up. You know the truth. You are a Spiritual Warrior. The time has come to step into your power.

Spiritual Reminders for Modern Times

I recently attended a channeling event where 12 light beings who call themselves the "Light Counsel" came through a medium to share many excellent insights for us earthlings living in these crazy modern times. Where these statements came from does not concern me, what interests me is that they resonated very strongly with my higher self as "truths", and I am inspired to write about them. 

I have written before about my belief that "life" as we know it is actually a classroom, a course in "Being A Human 101" that we beings of light signed up for, before we were born. I think the ultimate purpose of this "class" is to teach us to return to our natural state of pure love and joy, but while in a human body. The Light Counsel put it this way "Life is an experiment...of light beings. The purpose of humanity is to come to One consciousness." They went on to give advice on how to accomplish this One Consciousness: "Be quiet and just listen. Get out of the mind...too much thinking, not enough feeling. Move to the heart. Quiet the mind, go within. 'Feeling' comes from the soul....take action on that." They went on to talk about the "outer world" that we live in, and how so much of it is merely "entertainment" as they put it, distracting us from looking within. "Everything lies within, and this is the opposite of your culture."

I think this really hits home. Western culture is so focused on this "outer world", how much money you make, how big your house is, how much cool "stuff" you have, etc. We are completely missing the point of our existence! In addition to all those distractions, we actually try our hardest not to feel, self-medicating with food, sex, alcohol, drugs, and buying more stuff that we don't need. We need to stop, get still, go within and listen. Our higher self knows why we are here, and it will tell us, if we only take the time to listen. I believe the Light Counsel actually said something like "Close your mouth, close your eyes, and listen!"

One of the other main messages I received during this session was the affirmation that since the main point of our existence is to learn, the lessons come through both negative and positive experiences. There are no "problems" to be solved, only challenges to be learned from. Every "problem" arrives with a gift for you in it's hands, if only you are open and willing to receive. I believe that many challenges and difficulties are meant to move us closer to Spirit, closer to love. To paraphrase Marianne Williamson; "When things get hard, people hit their knees. We need to learn to stay there!"

Another interesting point was the Light Counsel's take on disease, or as they said "Disease = a body not at ease. Disease is a teacher....it allows you time, time to make peace in your life...and teaches you to live in the moment, to realize what is truly important in life." Again, what we think of as a "problem" is actually a gift, a lesson in this class we call "life."

I am so grateful to have been present for these excellent reminders about the "reality" of life, and especially about the importance of getting still and going within. Now more than ever, the world needs us to be aligned with our higher selves, and to bring forth as much love as we can.

Much love and light to all.

That Sneaky Ego!

A Course in Miracles states that every day of our lives we are constantly choosing between love and fear. It says that our natural state is love and joy, but we have "fallen asleep" and forgotten this, we have "detoured into fear." The voice of the fear is our ego. To paraphrase Marianne Williamson; "The ego is like a virus in the computer that attacks the core system....it is like a gravitational force field, built up over eons of fearful thinking. It is our mental power turned against ourselves. It is clever, smooth-talking, and manipulative. It counsels us to look out for ourselves, at the expense of others. It teaches us selfishness, greed, judgement, and small-mindedness."

The main goal of the ego is to keep us believing we are separate from everyone else, so it can keep us isolated, fearful, and powerless. It will use whatever tricks necessary to do this. It is the voice in your head that tells you that you aren't good enough, encouraging you to judge others as "less than" so that you feel better about yourself. The ego always emphasizes what someone has done wrong so that we have reasons and excuses to push them away and keep them at an arm's distance. Encouraging you to point out the faults of others is one of the ego's sneakiest tricks. It even goes so far as to tell you that you are "helping"them by doing so. When we try to change someone by "helping them see" what they could do better, or what their issues are, we are not respecting them. We are basically saying "I don't think you can figure this out on your own, I don't believe in you." The ego creates this dynamic to keep them away and you separate. To understand that there is no separation, except in our thoughts and mind is death to the ego because it takes it's power away. It rules through fear. If we are One, then there is only love, and fear ceases to exist.

In actuality, the best way to help someone else to grow and ascend is to reflect back their own magnificence. We do this by giving unconditional love, which releases blame and judgement. Holding the highest vision of someone else; their true nature as a being of pure love, their innocence, their potential, makes you both a mirror and a light. "We help another person access their highest by accessing our own. Growth comes from focusing on our own lessons, not on someone else's. When we choose to join with them, through approval and unconditional love, the miracle kicks in for both parties. The ego doesn't want us to see that our pain doesn't come from the love we weren't given in the past, but from the love we ourselves aren't giving in the present."

I am working on detecting the tricks of my sneaky ego. That voice is so strong and so deeply ingrained though, I have to really pay attention. I monitor my thoughts and continually ask myself "Am I thinking with love, or am I thinking with fear?" It never fails that when I am thinking with fear I am simultaneously experiencing negative feelings, such as depression, anger, guilt, and shame. When I am thinking with love, I am always experiencing feelings of happiness, joy, and peace. Gabrielle Bernstein writes in her book "Spirit Junkie" that laughing at your ego is " the spiritual equivalent of martial arts", it takes it's power away. I've started picturing my ego as the "Wile E Coyote" on the "Roadrunner" cartoons. It comes up with the craziest schemes to "get" me and make me think unloving thoughts! Now when I catch my sneaky ego in action, like the roadrunner I just laugh at it and go on my way, and like the Coyote, it slinks back off to it's cave to plot until the next time. It takes constant watchfulness, and hard work, but I am learning that I can change my thought patterns. I can choose love, not fear. And this is what makes miracles happen!

Love and light to all.

The Quest for Perfection

I realized recently that I've lived most of my life under the impression that I must be perfect in order to be lovable, and loved. I know now that I picked up this idea in childhood, due to some misinterpreted events, and I think it's actually a very common theme for many people. Children are by nature egocentric beings, believing that everything that happens around them is about them and because of them. Many of us made similar "decisions" about ourselves, and unknowingly have lived the balance of our lives believing this to be true, on some deep subconscious level. I think most people feel some degree of imperfection, or "not enough" in some way. And we worry that if people saw who we truly are, no one would ever, could ever possibly love us.

As a result, we spend a tremendous amount of time and effort chasing perfection (especially women), some idealized version of what we perceive perfection to be. We hold ourselves up to standards that are essentially impossible to achieve, setting ourselves up for certain failure. In relationships it manifests as trying too hard, hiding who we truly are, and defensiveness when someone points out something we could do better. We tell ourselves that if anyone ever saw how imperfect we really are they would leave us, then we set it up so that's exactly what happens! It's time to stop the madness.

I've decided to stop trying to be perfect. I've decided to love myself exactly as I am. In the words of Dr. Suess; "Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind!" People who truly love you will love you in spite of, and in some cases, because of your flaws. I've decided to focus on being the best, most authentic version of ME as possible, and to let "perfection" go. What a relief! The truth is, we are all angelic beings of light who have incarnated in human bodies, in order to have the human experience. As such we are just as we are meant to be. We are imperfect by design, which makes us perfectly flawed, perfectly human. And that's good enough for me!

Much love and light.

Letting Go of the Future

"There is no problem in the world that does not have a spiritual solution. Problems arise in the first level of spiritual awareness, called "contracted awareness". This stage is like being in a totally dark room, with only a little candle, trying to find your way through an obstacle course, bumping into things, stumbling, tripping. The second level of spiritual awareness is "expanded awareness". It is like being in that dark room, but this time with a flashlight. You are able to see that everything you thought was an obstacle is actually an opportunity, that everything you thought was a "problem" has a purpose. The last level of spiritual awareness is "awareness without boundaries" or "pure awareness". In this stage you are in the room, but you can see that the walls, floor and ceiling are made of glass, the sun is streaming in, and you can see that all you have to do is step out and the whole universe is your playground. At this level there are no problems, therefore no need for solutions." Deepak Chopra

The past 6 months have contained some very challenging moments for me. Unlike most people who have to be dragged kicking and screaming into change, I am one of those weird ones who readily volunteers for major change on a regular basis. The simple explanation is that I get bored easily, but actually it is because I have a deep need to feel like I am learning and growing. Getting out of your comfort zone is the best way to accomplish this. So in January I made a huge leap of faith and moved to Hawaii, following my heart and my dreams. And the lessons and growth have been directly proportional to the degree of the scariness of this big change. But one of the best "gifts" I've been given through this experience is that I am beginning to have some understanding of Mr. Chopra's quote, above. For many years, I think I have been in the second level of awareness, able to see (usually in hindsight, not when it was actually happening) that my "problems" always arrived with some gift for me in their hands. If I was open to it, there was always some lesson to be learned, some opportunity for growth. But thanks to the experiences of these past few months, I am just beginning to see a little glimmer of what that level of "pure awareness" might look like. The past 6 months has taught me that no matter how horrific the situation might be according to my 5 senses, everything will work out in the end, and it will work out for the best. Even when I can't see how it can possibly work out well, it always does! I don't know who said it, but I can tell you it's the truth; "Everything always turns out alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

I've discovered that I spend (like most people) an inordinate, unhealthy amount of time in my head, and in the future, a time period that doesn't even exist yet! I'm planning, worrying, trying to control what is actually completely beyond my control. What a waste of effort and energy! I heard recently that "Worry is negative prayer." Amen! We create our reality with our thoughts. Where your attention goes, your energy flows. Why spend all that energy feeding negative "oh my god, what if..." thoughts? I discovered that I spend a lot of my time telling myself scary, worst-case-scenario stories. Since I know our thoughts are very powerful in creating our reality, I realized that it is high time to STOP self-sabotaging. I decided to see what would happen if I literally LET GO of the future, completely. Yes, I still have goals and dreams, but I let go of trying to be in control of and worrying about the future. I decided to focus my energy right here, right now, in this day, this moment, to keep taking one step and then another, and to trust that the divine order of the Universe would sort out the rest. The big news? IT WORKED!!! I just show up every day, do what I can, and the Universe does the rest. This has been an incredible experiment, and such a gift to participate. It has changed my view of life completely. "Take one step towards Spirit, and Spirit will take 1,000 steps towards you."

This has been so liberating, and an amazing opportunity for growth. Learning this lesson hasn't always been pleasant, (it's been hard, messy and bloody, a bit like giving birth!) but I've come to see that all our challenges, or "problems" do have a spiritual solution. It takes trust, that there is a divine order to the Universe, including me, and my life. I trust that just as the planets revolve around the Sun, and the rain makes the flowers grow, the Universe is prepared to give me everything I need. It requires showing up in my life every day, with an open heart, ready to love, ready to work and do everything that is within my power. But beyond that I can let go, and everything will be alright. In many cases, things are turning out way, way better than I had envisioned them! I am beginning to realize that if I will just loosen my grip, I give the Universe permission to bring those things to me, and more! In letting go of worrying about "how" it's all going to come together, I am opening the space for it to happen. I am starting to see that the world really is designed to be our playground, all we have to do is step out of the "fear-box". To be in the present moment and to realize that right now, this very minute, everything is fine. In actuality, it's usually way better than fine, it's wonderful! How liberating to discover that we hold the key to our freedom, in our own thoughts and minds.

So if you are able to make that leap of faith, to reel your mind back in from all the scary possibilities of what the future might bring, I think you will find that problems as we know them don't actually exist anywhere but in our own heads.  I think you will also see that the sun is shining, and the Universe is a very beautiful place. I look forward to seeing you on the playground!

Love Is All Around Us

"I feel it in my fingers,
I feel it in my toes.
Love is all around me,
and so the feeling grows.
It's written on the wind,
it's everywhere I go...."

Like the lyrics to that old song, I believe love is all around us, it's the only thing that's real. Everything else is a hallucination, a dream created by our ego and our human psyche. For years I've been finding heart-shaped things, everywhere! Heart-shaped rocks, leaves, and lately, clouds. When it happens, I feel it's a message from the Universe; You are loved. A "love note" from Spirit, what a gift! On Valentine's Day last year I was walking to my car at Raleigh studios in Hollywood. Lying precisely next to my car in the parking lot was a piece of dry-wall, used in set construction, in the shape of a perfect heart! It was the best "valentine" I ever received, and I still have it. I think these messages are around us every day, if we are only open enough to receive.

In the last year or so I've begun doing a creative visualization where I am floating on a river of divine love and light, safe and gently supported, the flow taking me to where I am meant to be. Yes, there are rapids along the way, and sometimes I do bump up against a rock or two, getting an awakening of some kind, but I am always guided safely out of danger in the end, if I allow the river to take me. I've been doing this visualization daily for many months, it's been very helpful in this scary-I'm-not-in-control period of my life. (And really, let's be honest, how often are we actually IN control?? We just like to think we are!) But finally it hit me; the river of love is not only all around me, it runs through me! I am not separate from the flow, I am part of it, the way a drop of the river cannot be separate, and a wave cannot be separate from the ocean. I am a "drop" of divine light and love, as we all are, flowing together, and it's impossible for us to be separated from our source, or each other. It is only our ego, our human side that wants us to think we are alone.

Love is all around us, because we are love. As such we can never be unloved, we can never be unlovable. Our greatest fears are a lie! Love is all around us, in the winds that caress our face, the ocean that washes us clean, the rain that blesses us, the animals, even the rocks and trees. This is why being in nature is so calming and healing. If you stay awake, present in the moment, you will feel this love, this divine flow. You will start to see signs, all around you, everyday. And you'll realize how truly blessed and loved you are. You are loved. You are love.

Much love and light to all.

Remembering Des

Desiree Hoaka Anderson-De Thierry passed away 3 months ago at the age of 35. They say she died in her sleep, but I think we are the ones who are asleep, dreaming a dream of an illusionary world. She’s merely woken up from that dream. I only knew her for a month or so, but she was such an incredible spirit that she really touched me deeply in that short time, as she did so many people. She was a beautiful soul, pure love and joy, always smiling, always laughing, always singing. To know Des was to love her, and I am forever changed by knowing her. Obviously, many people knew her much better, and longer than I, but I am a writer and it's my way of processing, to put down what she meant to me. Losing her was such a shock, such a sudden blow to the heart that it’s taken me these 3 months to know what I wanted to say.

I believe we enter this world with a soul-contract, a divine purpose or actually, many divine purposes. We come to this plane to have the human experience, to live, laugh, and to learn how to return to our divine essence; pure unconditional love and joy. I believe that we can’t be taken from here, we are virtually indestructible, until we’ve finished what we came here to do. I believe Des did it, she accomplished her mission, and has gone home. She had succeeded in becoming the embodiment of divine light and unconditional love. She welcomed each new person not just into her life and her arms (with the best hugs in the world!), but into her open heart as well. Just as small children come into this world still in their purest state, knowing nothing but love and joy, so was Desiree. She never met a stranger, believed only the best of everyone, and showed by example what real love looked like.

There is a reason “only the good die young.” They have already come to understand that we are all divine sparks of love, and that like the flames of the fire, we cannot be separated. We are truly all One. Desiree was such a bright flame, it was impossible for her to stay in human form for long. She was so light-filled that she simply slipped the bonds of the body, it couldn’t hold her any longer. Now she’s able to do what she did best; love and care for those nearest and dearest to her. Now she’s able to be everywhere, all the time, watching over us, helping us even more from the other side. When I think of her I am reminded to live in the moment more fully, to laugh as hard and often as possible, that music brings joy and lifts the soul, and to live with my heart open as wide as possible. Her legacy is to remind us that life is short, and love is all that really matters. It’s the only thing that’s real.

Desiree spent time here in Hawaii, meeting her “rainbow ohana”, and was given her Hawaiian spiritual name; “Hoaka”. The translation of this word is “flash of light”, and it suited her perfectly. She truly was a flash of light, incandescent love, and spiritual inspiration, illuminating our lives, striking our hearts, and changing us. And then like the lightning bolt, she was gone. We are made up of energy, and science has proven that energy never ceases to exist, it only changes form. She has not left us, she’s merely transmuted and transformed into pure light. She is everywhere now, and although our human eyes can no longer behold her, if you use the eyes of your heart and soul, you will find her. She’s the light that dances on top of the ocean waves, the diamond-sparkles on fresh snow, the brilliant colors of the rainbow. She’s the joy I feel in my heart when I think of her. Now she’s forever “sweet”.

Mahalo Des, for being part of my dream. Much love and light on your journey, beautiful Sister.

　

Random Thoughts on the "Grand Plan"

For many months leading up to my move to Hawaii, my intuition told me that this big change in my life would be an important part of my spiritual journey. I felt very “divinely-led” and supported in making this leap of faith, so many circumstances occurred in just the right way, things lining up almost miraculously, allowing it to all fall into place almost effortlessly on my part. One of my friends said, upon welcoming me “home”, that he thought living here would make me “more myself” than ever before. After only 6 months here, I am already beginning to see that he was right. I feel as though I am growing, expanding, and relaxing into being the most authentic version of myself yet, and it’s all occurring at a very rapid rate. That same friend introduced me to my “Kumu” (teacher) of the ancient art of lomi-lomi, and the Hawaiian spiritual principles that are an integral part of it. In the time I’ve spent with her, she has given me many gifts, but perhaps the most precious was helping me to understand a small part of my divine purpose in this lifetime. She told me that I am a “bridge” between this world and the world of Spirit, and that I would help people to find their path, discovering their own light and divine purpose on the way. I have no idea exactly how I’m supposed to do this wonderful thing, but I am trusting that Spirit has a plan, and all will be revealed in time!

In the meantime, I’ve been feeling very inspired to share all the amazing experiences I’m having by writing this blog. Perhaps I will help others who are on a journey of expansion and growth in some small way. I’ve also felt led to offer Tarot readings, as I’ve been doing them for friends and family for years, and the cards have been very helpful in my own life. I’m able to “hear” the messages they offer, and intuitively interpret them for others. I truly believe that we all have the gift of intuition, that small voice in our mind, often accompanied by a physical “gut feeling”. But I think that for most of us our emotions, particularly our fears, often drown out that voice, or our so-called “rational” mind denies our abilities entirely. The results of these readings have been so rewarding. So often I am saying things that the client already “knows”, but they need an impartial confirmation. I get so much joy and fulfillment from feeling like I have helped shine the light in the darkness, and provide some clarity in difficult situations.

When I moved to Hawaii 6 months ago, I thought I knew how things would work out....I was so wrong. Things have actually turned out so much better! As Oprah says "The dream you dream is big, but the dream the Universe dreams for you is SO MUCH BIGGER!" Sometimes you gotta let go and let Spirit do it's thing. I think of life as one of those “line drawings” the ancient Nazca people created in Peru, that are mysteriously only visible from a mountain top or airplane. When you are down in the trench, digging the ditch every day, following the twists and turns, you can’t really see the design that‘s emerging. It’s only when you allow yourself to be lifted up, and often in hindsight, that you can see why things had to happen the way that they did, and you can see what a beautiful piece of art you have created. I guess I can’t worry about what the “grand plan” for my destiny is. I can only show up one day at a time, listen to my internal guidance system and keep digging the ditch, with as much love as I can. I trust that the Universe has the plan, and that in the end I will see the beauty and meaning of what we have created together.

Sending light and love.

　

　

　

　

For the Girls, Part 2

As I wrote in my previous post, I think there is a serious problem with female self-esteem these days that borders on epidemic. In talking to friends and hearing their relationship trials, listening to my younger co-workers discuss their love lives, in doing Tarot readings for women, as well as my own experiences in relationships, I am seeing a common theme. We feel as though we are not being treated as we deserve, and not getting back as much as we give. In my last post I suggested we stop with the victim mentality and take ownership for the fact that we are helping to create these unsatisfying relationships. We are the ones allowing the bad behavior, even rewarding it! We allow a man to call (or even worse, text us) at the last minute to get together (or “hang out”, or “hook up”.) We act like we have no lives and no self-respect. We allow them to show up, however and whenever it suits their schedule and their needs with no regard for our own needs and wants. Then we wonder why our needs and wants aren’t being met! We need to wake up to the fact that WE are the ones who set the value on our time, our bodies, and our hearts. If we give everything away to someone who is giving very little in return, what message is that sending about what we think about ourselves? Why should they value us, if we appear not to even value ourselves?

I think the solution is actually very simple, but not necessarily easy. First and foremost, Love Yourself. If you do not truly love and value yourself, no one else will either. By becoming your own true love, you remove any “need” from your relationships, and we all know how unattractive neediness is! But how does one learn to love oneself, in this world where “perfection” is held up as the womanly ideal, everywhere you turn? Here are my suggestions: 1. Get up every morning and write a list of 50 things you love about yourself. It can be the same list everyday, and you can love your physical attributes, as well as your personality traits, but something about the act of writing these down is mysteriously powerful. When I first started doing this, I had a difficult time finding even 10! But as time went on and I started to see that there really were things I loved about myself, the things that made me unique, the list began to grow and I started to truly feel good about myself. 2. Write yourself love notes and leave them around the house where you will find them. 3. Look in your own eyes in the mirror every morning and say “I love you! You are a beautiful, wonderful, love and light-filled creature. You deserve only the best!” You may feel silly at first, but this affirmation is also extremely powerful.

Secondly, Treat Yourself Accordingly. Give yourself a warm, clean, nurturing home environment filled with things that you love and have meaning for you. Throw out or give away anything worn, broken, and less than you deserve. Find ways to remind yourself how much you are loved. I have 2 large frames that contain collages of photos of friends and family. Every time I look at them I am reminded how much I am loved. I save voice mails from people I love so I can listen when I feel blue, and the sound of all that love washing over me is so wonderful! Do small things like buying yourself flowers every now and then, and whatever else makes you happy. The point is, give yourself the life you deserve, stop waiting for a man to show up and give it to you.

Thirdly, GET BUSY! Busy people are happy people. Get busy building your life around YOU. Build a circle of friends, male and female, and go out and do things. Concerts, movies, museums, wine-tasting, things that make you happy. Don’t wait for a guy to show up in your life to have one! Take classes, accept every invitation, get out and live. “If you’re not busy living, you’re busy dying.” When you are busy and happy, feeling loved by yourself and others, you are much less likely to drop everything to just “hang out”. A guy will have to make plans in advance, (what a concept!) in order to catch you coming or going. They will have to show up in a big way to get your attention, and they will value you much more for it! If they aren’t willing put out the necessary effort, then they weren’t going to treat you the way you deserve anyway. You might as well find out now, save yourself the time and grief.

The bottom line, and the ultimate point I’m trying to make is that your happiness is your responsibility and is in your control. The best way to find a loving relationship is to build one with yourself. How we allow other people to treat us is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. We attract what we are. If you want love, become love. Have a love affair with yourself. Put a high value on your precious heart for the beautiful gift that it is, and chances are you will find a man who does too. But even if you don't, you will be happy, and you will be loved!

Sending much love and light.

This One's For the Girls

What happens to girls? It seems to me that in so many cases, no matter how happy our childhood, no matter how loving our parents, girls somehow arrive in their teen and young adult years with very poor self-esteem and low confidence in themselves. For no apparent reason, despite evidence in our lives to the contrary, we decide that we are unlovable or unworthy of love. Is it due to the pressures of society to live up to a false ideal of beauty and desirability, as created by Hollywood and magazines? I look back at photos of myself at 18, 22, 25 and think "Wow, I was a babe! I was beautiful! How could I not have known?" I remember being painfully convinced that I did not measure up to the idea of perfection in the world. Only now, with the wisdom and distance of years can I look back and see how beautiful I really was, in my own way. And even though I was asked to model, on runways and in photographs, and even though I had my share of male attention and boyfriends, but inside myself I had made the decision that I was not beautiful/worthy/lovable, and so nothing could convince me otherwise.

I think this lack of self-love and low self-esteem is the biggest issue women face in our pursuit of a happy romantic relationship. It causes us to self-sabotage and act in ways that convey the idea that we believe that we have little value, then we wonder why a man ends up not valuing us! We make ourselves way too available, giving the impression that we have nothing better to do than to wait for "him" to come around. We allow men into our hearts far too easily, without making them first prove that they can be trusted with it. We give away the most precious part of ourselves, before we know whether they are worthy of such a gift, or even appreciate it. We act grateful for the small scraps of love and attention they give us and then complain to our friends and wonder why we're not getting enough of their attention.

My therapist, a lovely man in his 70's, once said to me when I came to him heartbroken, and wanting to get to the root of why this kept happening; "Let me tell you something about men. You can never let us be too sure of you. Even after you are married, he cannot feel that you are a "sure thing." If we feel like you have built your whole life and happiness around us, we begin to take you for granted. The reason for this is that men are programmed by nature to be hunters. Once they acquire the thing they are after and they know there is no danger of it being lost, their attention automatically turns to the next challenge." This makes complete sense! What does the world consider to be valuable and precious? That which is scarce and difficult to obtain; gold, diamonds, etc. It stands to reason that if we give our heart too easily it will not be appreciated or valued.

The advice that wise, wonderful man shared with me was not about playing games, or pretending to be something I wasn't, in order to get a man's attention, like so many "advice" books about dating. He was telling me to quite literally "Get a Life!" I needed to stop waiting for a man to show up in order to be happy, to get busy living which would make me much less likely to give my heart to the first guy who showed up and was nice to me. He was advising me to learn to love myself first, to stop waiting for someone else to fill that hole, so I wouldn't be emotionally needy when a possible love-interest did enter the picture. By being an emotionally healthy person, I would be able to make much better judgements about who I should give my heart to. The great thing about following this advice is that it automatically makes you much more attractive. (We all know how unattractive a needy person is!)

It is true, "We teach people how to treat us." We demonstrate what we believe our worth to be by what we allow, or require in the way we are treated. We as women allow way too much bad behavior on the part of men towards us, and then we blame them for not valuing us. I think it's time to acknowledge our inner goddess-ness, and to realize that, in the words of Sarah Ban Breathnach "one of the worst things that can happen to a woman is to be with a man who doesn't deserve her, and doesn't realize it." I think it's time to stop blaming them, and start taking responsibility for how we are treated, and for our own happiness. We deserve the best. It's up to us to make sure we are treated that way!

To be continued...

Sending you much love and light, as your beautiful heart deserves!

Divine Synchronicity

As I've written before, I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in divine synchronicity, everything happens for a reason. I believe we are sent signs, messages, and nudges everyday if we are only awake enough to see and receive. The nudges are the most important. They're Spirit's way of trying to keep you on your path, or get you back on track. If you ignore the nudges, they become pokes. If you ignore the pokes, they become an elbow to the ribs, and then a baseball bat to the head, until you are on your knees, wondering "what just happened?!" But sometimes the messages we receive are confirmation that we are on our path, and to keep going.

Something like this happened to me this week, after writing my last entry about learning that my true self is my soul, not my body or personality. A couple of days later, I "happened" to watch Oprah talking to Gary Zukav, the author of "The Seat of the Soul". He said many profound things (I think I have a little crush on him, he's so spiritual/wise/cool!)  but this quote seemed especially heaven-sent/meant for me to hear: "Your soul is the essence of you that is immortal. It existed before "you" were born, and will continue to exist after "you" die. It is that part of us that holds intentions of harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for all life."

He also talked about creating "authentic power", or as Oprah calls it, "learning to co-create your life" with Spirit and the Universe. "Creating authentic power is developing the ability to distinguish between love and fear, within yourself and then choosing love, no matter what is happening inside of you, or outside of you." This is deep because it suggests that you can develop the ability to stand aside and observe your own thoughts, and then make a conscious decision, no matter what you are thinking or feeling, to choose to think with love, and let everything else go. I guess this is profound to me because it suggests that one can learn to live from the viewpoint of one's soul, coming from your higher self all the time, not the ego or personality.

The other quote that really resonated with me was this: "The soul is like the mother-ship or 'internal guidance system'. When you are sailing in the same direction that your soul wants to go, your life fills with meaning, purpose, and joy. If you are sailing in a different direction, your life will empty of meaning, purpose, and joy." So many things in my life are bringing me this sense of purpose, meaning, and joy right now; writing this blog, helping people through my tarot readings, living in Hawaii, learning about Hawaiian spirituality, meeting my beautiful rainbow ohana here. I feel so blessed and know it means that I am "aligned" with my higher self and "co-creating" with Spirit. Gary Zukav says that the more we follow the "the mother-ship", the more the personality and soul merge into one, and we become our truest selves; pure love.

Thank you Gary, thank you Oprah! Thank you Spirit, for sending me the "signs" that I'm on the right path. Just gotta keep going!

Sending much love to light your path.

Can you imagine?

I believe we come into this world as little bundles of pure light, love, and joy. "A little sack of sugar", as one of our aunties used to call my baby brother. As small children we are free and innocent of fear, knowing only joyfulness and playfulness, feeling love for everyone and having to be taught the concept of a "stranger". Our parents love us as only parents can, but they are also human beings with their own flaws and issues. Just as we inherit our hair and eye color, our height, blood and body type, it seems inevitable that we also inherit some of their emotional issues, that were usually handed down from their parents and grandparents.

Most of us live our entire lives with a self-image that was created by others, usually when we were too young to understand or question what was happening. If there was a parent who was unhappy with themselves, or very fearful, that was projected onto us as children causing us to feel that it was somehow our fault, that we must therefore be bad or imperfect or "not enough", making us ultimately unlovable, or unworthy of love. I am learning that the secret to happiness is "unlearning" these deeply ingrained beliefs, uncovering them for what they truly are, a pack of lies that my egocentric child's mind misunderstood and mistook for "truth". And through this process of uncovering what I am not, I am discovering the truth about who I am. I am not my body. I am not even my mind, or my thoughts, or my feelings. I am the one inside this body, looking out through these eyes. I am the one observing my thoughts passing through my mind, like clouds floating across a blue sky.  I am my soul, the "higher self", the part of me that remains the same as it was the day I was born, a being of pure light, love, and joy.

As I begin to understand this truth about myself, I am able to more easily see the love, light and joy in others as well. My capacity for empathy and compassion is expanding in direct proportion to this understanding. For years I have said that dogs and cats are "pure love, wrapped in fur" and "angels wearing dog/cat costumes." Now I realize we are ALL angelic beings, visitors to this earthly plane, having this human experience, challenged to learn to return to our divine essence. It has finally dawned on me that I am pure light and love, wearing a "human costume" for this brief time!

I think our biggest challenge in life is to understand this concept, and to return to the innocent, love-filled state that is our true nature, at our deepest core. To unlearn the fear that dominates our thinking, usually without our even being aware. We've been taught to be afraid, that we're not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, or just plain not enough!

What would the world be like if we all came to this realization, simultaneously? If we all grasped the concept of our true nature, and that as sparks of the divine, we are actually all One? Like rays of the same Sun, or drops of water in an ocean wave, we cannot be separate from each other, it is only our human mind/ego that perceives it to be so. Imagine what the world would be like if we all woke up and realized that everything we think is real is an illusion. Imagine how things would be, how people would act if we finally understood that LOVE is all there is.

"You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience." Just imagine if we all truly understood this......just imagine.

Sending you love and light.

My Hawaiian Adventure

My Hawaiian Adventure, or "I Love My New Home!"

I can't believe it's been 8 months since I last posted. My only excuse is that for 3 of those months I was prepping to move to the most remote land mass on the face of the planet, and the other 5 have been spent settling into my new home. Yes, I've been living in Hawaii for 5 months now, and I can't believe how much I LOVE it! I knew that I would, (duh!) but it has exceeded even my expectations, and I am SO incredibly happy with my decision to move. (I guess it's time to change the name of my blog too, uh-oh.)

I've been visiting the Aloha state since I was nine years old, including coming here on business several times a year in the mid-nineties. Like so many people, I've always loved it, but it's only been in the past four years that I began to give serious thought to living here. I began to feel like Hawaii was calling me, to the point that when my flights would take off to return to Los Angeles, tears would begin to flow as I saw the islands receding in the distance. I felt as though I was leaving behind a part of my heart. My soul was clearly trying to tell me "this is your home!", and that's when I intuitively knew that one day I would make the permanent move.

It was a BIG leap of faith. I had a good, stable, secure job in LA, a comfortable life, lots of good friendships built over 7 years there. But I've never been one to settle for just "comfortable". I'm a wanderer, and a seeker. (I blame my two gypsy grandmothers, but that's another post for another time.) I love moving to new places, especially places like Santa Fe and Hawaii, where the local culture is so different from my childhood home of suburban Texas. I love experiencing those new cultures, learning my way around new towns, meeting new people, discovering, exploring, having adventures (and misadventures!). However, there is always a challenging transition period involved in the process where you feel like a fish-out-of-water, and I have definitely been experiencing that. I am out of my comfort zone, most assuredly, but that's where the learning and growing occurs, and that's exactly what I was hoping for! Whenever things have gotten uncomfortable or scary, I've just reminded myself "It's just growing pains, and that's exactly what you asked for, GROWTH!"

Besides the physical beauty of this place, the lush green mountains, the turquoise water of the warm ocean, the soft white sand, the profusion of fragrant flowers, there is the beauty and spirit of the people here that is so incredible. I have been welcomed "home" with open arms into a warm, wonderful group of light-filled people, as if I am long lost family. There is such love and joy here. A relaxed attitude that everything is good, everything is easy, and if it's not, let it go, for in the end it won't matter anyway.  The Hawaiian culture focuses on what is truly important, what is real. Caring for the land-our mother, our home, taking only what is needed, and treating it with respect. Caring for each other, honoring our differences, but choosing to emphasize our commonalities, joy, laughter, music, family, food, being happy, playing in the ocean, valuing the wisdom of our ancestors and elders, and being fully present in the world of Spirit, or Ke Akua. I know this is what my heart was seeking when I felt drawn to be here, that it is truly my spiritual home.

When I decided to make my leap of faith and move to Hawaii in January, the main factor was my love for this gorgeous place, but I also felt intuitively, that this move would be mainly about my spiritual and emotional growth. I felt I had reached a place of stagnation in Los Angeles, and that Hawaii, with it’s beautiful culture, so deeply rooted in ancient spirituality would be exactly what I needed. Wow, was I right about that!! I’ve been here only a few months, but I feel that I have already learned and grown an incredible amount. I've encountered obstacles that have challenged me to keep the faith that I had been led here, and that all would be alright in the end, despite any temporary "evidence" to the contrary. My belief that everything is unfolding exactly as it should, for my greatest good, is stronger than ever before. The Universe has presented me with incredible opportunities and divine synchronicities, including even a lot of unexpected financial support. I've been led to a beautiful spiritual center that emphasizes our own divinity, and has LOVE as it's main principle. A series of heaven-directed "coincidences" brought me to my Hawaiian spirituality "Kumu", or teacher. Through her love and extraordinary talent, she has helped me to open my own "channel" to the world of Spirit in new and amazing ways, and helped me to understand my higher purpose in this life. So many gifts, so much learning and growing in such a short time, so many blessings!

Making this move across 3,000 miles of ocean has certainly been one of the scariest, most emotionally-challenging adventures of this lifetime so far, but the leap has already been rewarded, ten-fold. Without a doubt it was the right decision for me, and while I may be temporarily "financially challenged", I am blissfully happy and fulfilled, and I know that I am truly "home".  This experience has reinforced my belief that when you listen to your soul, and you follow your heart, your bliss, the Universe will rise up to meet you and support your every step in that direction. The first 5 months have been so amazing, I can't wait to see what the upcoming years hold in store!

Thank you to all who have welcomed me into their beautiful "rainbow ohana", I am so grateful for you all.

Sending much love, light and aloha!